


The Art of Awkwardness

by PointlessNostalgic



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-06
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-23 22:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 41,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/627130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PointlessNostalgic/pseuds/PointlessNostalgic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily and James have an interesting relationship, to say the least. It is full of love, hate, and of course, endless awkwardness. 21 vignettes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that these are unrelated vignettes that do not follow the order of their lives. They skip years, go back in time, and are generally disconnected. I therefore recommend that you read each vignette with the mindset that it is a separate story.

Life was stressful—that much was certain. The daily monotony of school, homework, being a Prefect, caused an unbelievable amount of anxiety. Even finding time to relax was taxing! There were several ways to relieve such tension, many of which were thoroughly illegal, but after much searching Lily Evans found one way to unwind that never let her down.

That was taking a bath. Not just any bath, mind you, but a bath in the Prefect's Bathroom. The Prefect's Bath was the pinnacle of comfort and not one person could deny that. It was a fact. Everything from the scented bubbles to the marble floors to the pool sized bath was more than lavish, even to the most privileged of people. Just a few moments in the bubble filled warm water could melt the stress away from situation, no matter how crazy it appeared to be.

With only a week until finals, Lily was getting her fair share of headaches and stomachaches from pure worry. It got like this every year, and only got worse as finals inched closer. She mastered a routine for this hectic schedule years ago, which included coming in during breakfast when everyone else was either eating or sleeping, getting into the scalding hot bathtub, filling it with rose scented bubbles, and staying in for an hour. No one ever disturbed her and she never failed to relax just enough to endure finals.

Today was certainly not a day for her to deter from her routine. She was there, forty-five minutes into her hour bath with rose bubbles still surrounding her. Her clothes were displayed rather unceremoniously on the ground a few feet away from the bathtub, along with her wand. Her eyes were closed as stress poured straight out of her body gracefully, replaced by ease.

She was in such luxury that she didn't even hear someone coming into the Prefect's Bathroom.

James Potter walked casually into the Prefect's Bathroom, quite ready to charm faucets to spray water in people's faces, and perhaps vandalize a few of the toilets. He was surprised to see someone else there, and did a double take when he noticed that this person was a redhead. Well, he only knew three redheads in the school, and only one in Gryffindor. Once he spotted the Gryffindor tie displayed in a pile of clothes—he also observed a pair of matching undergarments in there and grinned—he came to the conclusion that he walked in on Lily Evans taking a bath. Suddenly, there were so many possibilities open to him. Threats! Blackmail! The possibilities were endless, and he loved it.

Instead of voicing his presence, he merely walked behind noticing that her body all the way up to her neck was under bubble covered water, restricting vision to any assets of hers. He only smirked to himself at this. "Having a nice bath, there?" he asked loudly, unable to keep the amusement off of his face.

Lily spun around quickly, her eyes as wide as saucers. She moved quickly under the water so that only her eyes and nose were above the water for vision and breathing. She stared at him in shock for several moments before she raised her head a bit to talk. "What are you doing in here?" she demanded. "And you're not a Prefect! You're not allowed to step foot in here. I demand you get out!" she continued, frustration beginning to ebb into her voice. She pointed a dripping finger at the door for just a moment before submerging it again in water.

"I love being friends with a Prefect," he said simply, choosing not to answer her first question. "It opens up this huge whirlpool of possibilities." He paused, contemplating said potentials. "Like seeing you naked," he said with a laugh. It was only a joke, but when he was met with a stony glare, he figured that she wouldn't appreciate such humor.

Glancing around the room, Lily noticed her clothes were splayed everywhere, and she hastily brought her hands out of the water to hide her undergarments underneath everything, not caring that it all got wet. As he laughed, she blushed madly with embarrassment and narrowed her eyes in his direction. "Turn around so I can at least get dressed," she said, angry that her bath was cut down by fifteen minutes.

"What if I don't want to, though?" he asked innocently, trying to conceal his smirk.

Lily grabbed for her wand, pointing it directly at him as she narrowed her eyes in anger. "I'll castrate you," she said simply, her voice deadly serious.

He raised his eyebrows in shock. "I can see what's on your mind, Evans," he commented casually, putting his hands in his pockets with a smirk.

"You're unbelievable!" she yelled angrily, letting her wand drop as she threw her hands in the air. "You just won't give up, will you?" she asked, rolling her eyes. Before waiting for an answer, she continued. "I bet you spend your time thinking of ways to torture me. You just want to ruin my life, don't you? If I fail my finals, it's YOUR fault!"

"No, yes, and okay," he listed with a nod. He paused for a moment, and then slowly asked, "Hey, you wanna hang out some time?"

"I am going to kill you," she said slowly, shaking her head as she pursed her lips in anger.

"You're cute when you're angry," he said, though knew that once he said that, he was in even greater danger of injury. Sheepishly, he backed himself into one of the bathroom stalls and locked it for two reasons: he would not be tempted to peek when she got dressed and he would at least have a bit time to sort himself out before he was murdered by Miss Evans.

Immediately, Lily jumped out of the water and without bothering to dry herself, she threw her clothes on. Despite the uncomfortable feeling of clothes on wet skin and the several wet spots on the fabric, she didn't care one bit. She was safe from Mr. Potter's wandering eyes, now, and that was all that mattered at the moment. Brushing herself off, she pocketed her wand and slowly contemplated a plan that came to mind.

It was perfect, as long as she could play it out properly.

Slowly, she moved towards the door, knocking on it lightly. "Po—…" She stopped, remembering suddenly that she needed to call him by his first name. "James… Look, I want to apologize for what I said. Please come out," she said in a sugary sweet voice, batting her eyelashes even though she knew he couldn't see it. It was a ridiculous plan that no one would fall for but him.

"Then apologize," he said helpfully, still standing in the corner of the stall in fear of being attacked.

"No, I really want to be able to apologize to you…Not a door," she continued, trying to be as convincing as possible. "And I want to…I want to tell you something else." She was purposefully stuttering and pausing, all for effect.

Hesitantly, he inched towards the door, unlocked it, and poked his head outside, clearly convinced by this act. "What is it you want to tell me?" he asked quickly.

"No, no. I can't tell you what I want…To tell you when you're like… Well, when you're all the way back there. Y'see, I've never really…" She began her sentence, but instead of finishing it, she trailed off quietly. With that, she looked down at the ground abashedly, biting down on her lip with innocence.

Hook. Line. Sinker.

It was a matter of seconds before he was fully out of the stall and leaning on the door with suaveness. "Go ahead," he said smoothly.

Lily took a small step towards James, inching forward slowly towards him as she let her lips part ever so slightly. He began leaning into her, obviously ready for a prolonged kiss. He was sorely mistaken when he made that assumption though.

Instead of a sweet kiss, he was met with a smack across the face. The sound reverberated through the room, echoing several times. He stood there with shock, his mouth agape. With a smirk, she took a small step back to admire her work. "You're catching flies," she told him.

She turned on her heel, leaving James there, all too surprised with her actions. Thinking quickly, though, he pushed himself out of his state of confusion and ran up to her just before she reached the door. Grabbing her arm, he turned Lily around and kissed her square on the mouth, holding her there for several moments. Finally, she broke free, breathing heavily as she noticed her lightheadedness and her quick heart rate.

The tables had suddenly turned. James had the upper hand and Lily was the one who didn't know what to do. Her knees were weak, a feeling that was quite foreign to her, and her stomach was full of butterflies and worries. She didn't like this one bit.

"That was for being such an awful tease," he breathed, his voice low and seductive.

Lily fled for fear of being caught in his web once more. She denied to herself that she had enjoyed their kiss, and told herself that he was just being an idiot. Somewhere, in the back of her heart, though, she knew that she wanted another kiss just like that one, and soon. She craved it, though for quite some time, her mind got the best of her and kept her away from James Potter. Her mind had rationality, and knew what was best for her wellbeing.

Still, would she have done it all over again if she had the chance?

Hell, yes.


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin, she hated working with people like James Potter on projects. He simply wasn't the sort of person that Lily was when it came to work ethic. That is, she was all about finishing her work right from the beginning, finding that she would rather die than procrastinate. She was one to do far too much research on subjects, for she found that she ended up using the information in other parts of her life. She would spend hours in the Library, convinced that she could find anything and everything on her subject. James, on the other hand, was an excellent example of a bad student, to put it simply. It wasn't that he got bad grades, because that wasn't the case—he got excellent grades, in fact! Lily was merely convinced that he either cheated his way to those grades, bribed his teachers (in less than honorable ways, she was sure), or just had dumb luck. He would always wait to the last minute to do any of his work, and would do the bare minimum if he could. He wasn't an over-achiever, and therefore, Lily had a huge problem with him.

But of course, damn Slughorn lived his life to push her limits. It was always, "Ms. Evans, make two of those potions instead of one," or, "Ms. Evans, I would love to hear your opinions on the effectiveness of pixie dust after class," or, "Ms. Evans, please work with Mr. Potter." It wasn't that the Gryffindor hated Potions, it was just that she wasn't considering becoming the next Potion Mistress. Charms, on the other hand…

As soon as the two of them were paired together to do their research project on sleeping draughts, she set several deadlines for his to meet so that she didn't end up doing the entire project on her own (though she wouldn't mind all that much…) She told him, immediately, that in a week, he was to have all of his research written down, cited, and annotated. He assured her that he would have all that she wanted and more in a week in a nice, neat notebook, and for some reason, she believed him.

A week came, and a week passed, and she heard no word from him about sleeping draughts. Thankfully, seeing as they were stuck together in the Head Dorms day in and day out, she took it upon herself to go ahead and snoop—no, she wouldn't call it snooping—sift through his things to find these so called notes he was taking. He wouldn't mind, she was sure of that. If he caught her, Lily decided that she would simply come up with some quick excuse as to why she was searching through his drawers. It would come to her.

The redhead tiptoed up to his room (perhaps it was just a blind instinct…She didn't want to be heard, afterall) and gently knocked on the door to make sure he wasn't already in there. She waited for several moments, and then knocked once more. When no response came through the door, she called out, "Potter?" for good measure, but once again, found that she was merely talking to an empty room.

Turning the handle gently, Lily slipped into the room, leaving the door open so that she could detect whether or not he was coming through the sound of his footsteps. She took several steps into the room, glancing around aimlessly. She hadn't been in his room before, seeing as the term had just started. Quidditch posters hugged the walls, the floor was littered with textbooks and magazines and clothing, and all of the furniture was painted a brilliant combination of gold and red—a true Gryffindor. Her mind strayed for several moments, before she finally focused and reminded herself why she was in his room, and it wasn't to admire the decorating job.

Lily had no idea where to start. First, she thought of where she kept her things, but realized that things wouldn't be quite the same. She was a girl—a neat girl at that—and James was a messy adolescent boy. They were polar opposites really, and she knew the only way she could find his notebooks was to think, "Where would I never keep my notebooks?" She sat there, contemplating this for several moments before she finally realized where the last place she would keep her notes was, and concluded that it was under her bed. It seemed like an odd answer, but it made sense to her—afterall, who knew what was growing underneath these old beds all year…

Bending down, Lily grabbed the side of the bed for support and seamlessly poked her head underneath. The things she saw shocked her. Things were even messier underneath his bed, which she wasn't sure was possible up to that point. Bouncy balls, old socks, a ukulele of all things, and some unidentifiable substance cluttered the space, and there, in the back, was a stack of notebooks. Leaning over, the redhead grabbed the stacks and pulled them over to her spot on the ground, congratulating herself silently.

Lily glanced through them, looking for labels, but found none. With a sigh of frustration, she grabbed for the first one, opening up to a random page to see if it was the right notebook. What she found was certainly not information on sleeping draughts… In fact, it was a drawing of two people, both of which were all too identifiable.

They weren't good drawings, really. They were crude and boxy, generally without color and rushed. She would have never known that it was her on the paper if the hair hadn't been colored red. Yes, everything on the paper was black and white, except for her red hair and green eyes. They popped out unnaturally, making her cringe slightly to herself. Sliding her eyes over to the other figure, messy hair and glasses clued her onto who this other figure was. They were holding hands, as if they were friends, and a sloppy heart was drawn above her head.

God, why was he drawing the two of them together?

Quickly, Lily flipped to another page and found a moving photograph of her by the lake. It was obvious that she had no idea that the picture was taken, because she saw herself down under a tree, staring off randomly into space. Her stomach churned sickeningly, and she hastily turned the page once more.

Her hand writing was on this page. There was a small piece of parchment glued or taped to the paper. "Bugger off, Potter," the paper said, and she could only assume that it was a note she had written him at once point that he had saved. Her heart began to quicken as she turned the page again.

Was that a lock of her hair? Merlin, it was! Unconsciously, Lily brought her hand up to the hair that was on her head and let out a small gasp. Where had he gotten that? Why had he kept it? She felt as if she was going to vomit, suddenly.

Flipping the page once more, she was half convinced that she would find an eyelash collection adorning the next page, but what she found was far different. Lily Potter. Mrs. James Evans Potter. Mrs. Lillian Evans Potter. Lillian Potter. Mrs. James Potter. Mrs. Lily Potter. Mrs. Potter. Mrs. Lily Evans Potter. Mr. and Mrs. James Potter. Mrs. Lillian Potter. Each word popped out at her more, and her eyes widened quickly as she saw her name written over and over and over with his surname.

"What are you doing?"

James' voice resounded through the room, and Lily hurriedly closed the book, standing up as quickly as she could to face him. By the look on his face, she knew that he had seen what she was doing, though he didn't seem angry..

"I…" Where was that excuse she was coming up with? Why hadn't she heard his footsteps? Where had her plan gone?

"Here," he said quietly, holding out something to her.

It was the notebook. Gingerly, Lily took a small step forward and took it slowly into her hands. Glancing down at it, she saw it labeled neatly with the words, "Sleeping Draughts" on it. She flipped to a random page and there were his cited notes and annotations, just like he said… She felt so embarrassed…

James walked past her, kneeling down to restack the books and slide them underneath his bed as if there was nothing odd in them. Lily had no idea how he was acting so calm and natural, as if nothing had happened. Perhaps nothing had happened.

"I'll… I'll see you tomorrow," she rapidly said, her words melding together slightly because of the speed of them. In only a moment, she was out of his room and rushing to her own, slamming the door shut. With a twist of the lock, she held the research notebook to her chest, sliding down the door in distress and utter humiliation.

"Oh Merlin…"


	3. Chapter 3

In a student's life at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, as one got older, the days when there was no homework assigned for the night got fewer and fewer, much to the students' disdain. Furthermore, if it wasn't homework assigned, there was some sort of huge exam to study for, or a project due in the near future. That wasn't to say that the young witches and wizards were constantly doing work, but there were few nights when a student was completely free to do what he or she pleased.

Tonight was one of those cherished nights for several select Seventh Year students. Lily Evans was one of these students, and thankful for it. Now, although there was no way of knowing who all had the same joy that she did that evening, but she had a feeling people were doing all kinds of odd things with their free time—swimming in the lake before it got too cold, sneaking off to remote parts of the castle, have romantic dinners… She, on the other hand, was reading. Many would reprimand Ms. Evans for such behavior, but she would politely point out that she was not reading any kind of school book, but instead, a nice piece of fiction. She would also say (again, oh so politely) that those people should leave her alone to her reading, because it was what she enjoyed and that they were simply being bothersome.

Lily was enjoying this small read-a-thon contentedly in the Gryffindor Common Room, which was slowly becoming increasingly empty as the night wore on. Of course, she was paying no attention to this, far too caught up in her book to notice people coming in and out. It wasn't until she heard a great clock chime midnight when she looked up and realized that not only was the fire almost completely burnt out, but that she was alone. Laughing a bit to herself, she set her book on her lap with a long yawn, deciding that she should probably go to bed before it got too late.

It was at that moment when she heard a bang outside the Common Room before the portrait flew open and three rambunctious boys clambered in. Sirius was the first, who literally tripped in and stumbled across the ground with a loud guffaw before falling completely down. Next, was James, almost equally as disoriented, and finally, Remus walked in. His composure was quite different from the other two, and rather than falling over his feet, he was walking quite normally with a rather bored look on his face.

"I can't believe we lost Peeeteer!" Sirius yelled, his slurred voice echoing several times through the Common Room.

"Shhhhhhhh!" James scolded, holding his finger in front of his mouth before laughing loudly. Well, she'd be damned…

They were drunk.

Raising her eyebrows, Lily watched this display with little amusement from her chair. They hadn't seemed to notice her just yet. Sirius was still on the ground, and it was less than a minute later when he completely passed out. Looking up, she saw Remus roll his eyes and look over to James, who had noticed Lily.

"Lily!" he called, throwing his hands up in the air, a grin on his face.

"Lily…" Remus said with a sigh of relief. As James stumbled over to her, Remus grabbed both of Sirius' hands and began dragging him towards the stairs. "Can you just…Watch him while I get Sirius up here? I'll only be a minute."

Before she could answer, he was dragging Sirius up the stairs, which looked quite painful, to say the least. He'd surely feel that in the morning… After a few moments, James' head obstructed her view as he jumped in front of her, clearly quite excited to see her.

"Lilykins!" he hollered, at which point she stood up slowly, gently leading him over to the couch to sit down.

"Sh, James…" she said gently, sighing slightly. He wouldn't remember this the next morning. She might as well be nice. "It's late, everyone's asleep."

"I know!" James exclaimed. Suddenly, his eyes widened as he realized that he was loud, and whispered quietly, "Sorry... See, we were out at Hogsmeade—…"

"You're not allowed there if it's not a scheduled trip," Lily interrupted with another sigh.

"I know! That's why it's so cool! See, went undergrooouuunnd!" he continued to whisper with a giggle that was quite uncharacteristic of him.

With a small raise of her eyebrow, Lily said, "Okay…" He was probably just rambling and making things up.

"And we went to Zonko's and then Honeydukes and then the Three Broomsticks!"

"You didn't drink, did you?" Lily asked in exasperation, though she already knew that answer.

"See, we didn't drink so to speak… See, Madame Rosmerta is just so nice to us, and she gave us this Firewhiskey. I wouldn't say that was drinking really. Just…" After a long pause, where James seemed to be contemplating just what consuming Firewhiskey was, he continued with a frown. "Okay…I think that is drinking, actually."

"What in the world could persuade you to drink your body weight in alcohol?" Lily demanded with a frown.

"It wasn't my body weight! I think Sirius and I shared a bottle…" Holding up his hands, measuring how tall the bottle was, he continued. "I don't think that's my body weight. I'm a lot bigger than that." Pausing for several seconds, he stared at her, and then realized that she had asked a question and jumped a bit. "Oh! Yeah. So, first it was that we lost that first Quidditch game of Seventh year which kind of sort of really sucks, and then it was that Sirius failed his first Potions exam, which isn't really out of the ordinary because he fails everything, and then it was that you had yelled at me about being Head Boy and then I asked you out really really really nicely and you said no."

They shared several seconds of silence as they merely stared at each other, unable to speak.

"…Why do you care, James?" Lily asked finally, confusion lacing her features.

"Because I worked sooo hard over the summer to make you like me and I took lessons and learned how to be a good person and Remus worked really hard too to help me and…"

Before he could finish this quite long run-on sentence, Lily interrupted him.

"You worked over the summer to be better so that I would like you?" she asked slowly, feeling her stomach begin to knot up.

"Yeah," he said simply with a shrug, lying down across the couch so that his head was lying on Lily's lap. He looked quite comfortable, really, especially when he closed his eyes contentedly. Lily, on the other hand, looked quite surprised and nearly jumped, though restrained herself. "Why don't you like me, Lily?" he asked suddenly, and for a moment, she almost forgot that he was insanely drunk. Speaking of which, where the hell was Remus?

For once, she couldn't come up with anything, though. She couldn't say that he was egotistical, because he wasn't anymore. He didn't hex people randomly, and he didn't tease her or anyone else. He worked in his classes, and did polite things like open doors for her and smile kindly in the halls when they passed each other. He had changed, and she hadn't noticed at all until now.

"I…I do like you…" she said finally, letting her fingers play with his unruly hair gently, telling herself over and over that he would never remember this.

"Then why won't you let me be your boyfriend?" he asked simply, his eyes staying contentedly closed.

"Because…I just… I…" Letting out a sigh, she composed herself, trying to come up with a response. Instead, she asked him, "Why do you like me so much, James?"

Finally, his eyes opened and he sat up slowly, staring at her. "How could I not?" he asked, completely serious. "You're so smart and nice and your hair is so pretty and your eyes sparkle and your freckles make shapes on your arms and you have long fingers and you always know the answers to questions and when you smile you mean it." He had said all of these things in one breath, listing them off as if they had always been stored there in his brain, waiting to be said. "You're perfect. And I know you'll say you're not, because that's how nice you are, but you are."

She kept having to remind herself that he was drunk and that he couldn't mean what he was saying, but hadn't she been told that people say the things they mean the most when they're drunk? That when they can't sort through the things they want to keep to themselves and the things they want to say to the world, you get to know the most about them? Letting out a sigh, she closed her eyes as he rested his head against her legs once more, closing his eyes once again.

"I'm sorry, James… For being so awful." The words were soft and gentle and somehow, she didn't feel disgusted by her words.

She waited almost an entire minute for an answer, before she heard gentle snoring and realized that he was out. Leaning her head back against the couch, she tried to calm herself as Remus began to walk down.

"I am so sorry, Lily. He started running around and waking up everyone and was throwing stuff out the window. I had to—…" Stopping, he saw James lying there on Lily's lap and he laughed slightly. "I hope he wasn't too bad. I tried to stop him from drinking so much, but I turned my head for just a minute and they had downed an entire bottle. Merlin, I hate being the sober, responsible one sometimes," he joked with a smile. Walking over, he dragged James off of the couch, shaking his head. "Someone's going to have a headache in the morning…" he muttered, before turning back to Lily. "Have a good night. Thanks for watching him."

Lily said nothing through all of this, and merely stood up as Remus began dragging James up the stairs as well. Even as they disappeared out of sight, she continued stand there, staring at the empty staircase as if they were still there. Over and over, she told herself that he wouldn't remember what happened, and that what they said would go with her to her grave. It was only when the clock struck twelve thirty when she hurried up to her dorm, wishing desperately that she could have a drink as well.


	4. Chapter 4

James had never thought of himself as a stalker, so to speak. He didn't go out of his way to snoop on Lily's life—at least, that was what he claimed. He knew that she wanted her space every once in a while, though found that it was hard to give her said space. It wasn't as if he memorized her entire schedule (though not for lack of trying. Two months through school and her friends still wouldn't tell him what she had fourth hour!) or followed her around, taking pictures of her or anything creepy like that… But, when the opportunity came to read her diary, he simply couldn't resist!

Now, it wasn't how it sounded. He hadn't gone up to her room and dug through her things or tricked her into giving it to him. He just walked into the Common Room one day, ever so innocently, and there was a mysterious book on the table! He walked over, casually of course, and picked up the book, inspecting the floral cover. Opening it to the first page, he saw the name  _Lilliana_  scribed in thick cursive. If it had said, "Diary: DO NOT OPEN!" he would have immediately put it back down, because he was an angelic boy who knew his morals. It said nothing of the sort, though, and he found that it was his job—no—duty to find out whose book it was.

He had his suspicions, as anyone else would. The floral cover, the name  _Lilliana_  and the placement of the book (The Gryffindor Common Room) all led him to believe it was not only someone in the Gryffindor house, but someone he knew quite well. Still, he wasn't one to jump to conclusions, and knew quite well that he had to read through a few pages to confirm. Only to confirm, of course.

James flipped randomly to a page near the middle of the book, and found the first line in the middle of a sentence.

_feel so odd saying such a thing, because I really should be worrying about things like studies rather than boys. But, nevertheless, I'd have to say that I'd want a boy who would open doors for me and hold hands with me in the halls and leave me little notes for me to smile at. I know, I wouldn't seem to be someone who would want a boyfriend to be so demonstrative, but I'm a girl, aren't I? I have the same imagination as any other teenager… I want that prince charming like anyone else, but I suppose I'm just a bit better at hiding it. Oh well, I guess. I'll just have to wait a bit longer for a boy to send me flowers and read poems to me. Until then!_

_-Miss Lily_

Lily! Lily Evans! James was  _quite_  pleased to know that he had figured out who this journal belonged to, and he inwardly congratulated himself. He flipped to another page to begin reading, though stopped quickly, reprimanding himself. He didn't want to get too cocky (James Potter? Cocky? Never!) and find out that she had written something awful about him in there. Smiling to himself, James slowly closed the book, holding it under his arm as he went back up to his dorm. He told himself that he would slip it back to her sometime, though knew that he would have to take advantage of what he read.

* * *

The next day came and went, and it wasn't until two days after the finding when James finally put his information into action. After classes, he went on a search for his Lily Evans to present her with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a heartfelt poem that he had written in his spare time.

When he found her in one of the halls, though, she didn't seem as pleased as he thought she would when he shoved the flowers into her hands. In fact, she looked at them rather oddly, almost disgusted by them. He continued on, though, and without a word of warning, he began to read his poem to his lovely Lily, quite loudly in fact.

"You are the light of my life, dear Lily flower. You make everything perfect, even milk that is sour! I wish I—…"

It was then when he was interrupted by Ms. Evans, who looked quite discontent. "What in the name of Merlin are you doing?!" she exclaimed, looking like she was ready to throw her flowers to the ground.

James paused for a moment, not exactly sure how to respond at first. "Reading you a poem. I thought that was obvious."

"Let me rephrase then.  _Why_  are you doing this?!" she continued, only looking more aggravated than before.

After several more seconds of staring at Lily in confusion, James finally grabbed her free wrist and pulled her into the adjacent classroom. "You said this was what you wanted!" he blurted out, quickly wishing he had kept that to himself.

"Oh, yes, I love being publicly humiliated. It's a hobby of mine," she said sarcastically as she ripped her wrist from his grasp..

"But it said in your…" He trailed off before he finished, looking down at the ground sheepishly.

"Excuse me?" she asked, raising her eyebrows, setting the flowers down without grace.

With a slow sigh, he continued. "In your diary… I found it in the Common Room, and I just wanted to find out whose diary it was… And I read that this was what you wanted along the way…" He had no idea why she was staring at him like he was crazy until she spoke once again.

"I don't have a diary," was her simple reply.

"Yes you do," he informed her, nodding quickly as he reached for his bookbag, digging out the diary. "I was going to give it back to you today…"

Taking it from him, Lily glanced down at it, opening the cover, before laughing a bit. "This isn't mine, Potter."

"Yes it is!" he demanded indignantly. She was denying it, of course, because she was embarrassed.

"Is it now?" she asked, raising her eyebrows in amusement.

"Yes! It said Lilliana in the front!"

"My name's not Lilliana, James," she told him with another laugh.

Pause. Silence. Wait. Rewind.

"It's not?" he asked quickly, suddenly looking quite embarrassed.

"No. That's not mine. It's Lilliana's, from Ravenclaw…She's a fifth year Prefect. We do rounds sometimes. I suppose I'll give this back to her… Nice try, though."

"Oh…" James replied sullenly.

"Though, it's nice to know that you would read my diary if I had one and you found it," she said with a slightly bitter tone, rolling her eyes to herself.

"It was just to find out whose it was!" James exclaimed, attempting to defend himself, though failing miserably.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Here, take these to Lilliana if you want. I don't want them," she said, shoving the flowers back at James before marching right back out of the classroom, diary in hand. James merely stared down at his flowers, sighing to himself as he once again, failed.

* * *

Later that night, Lily sat on top of her bed, curtains drawn, with a quill and a small floral book. With a smile, she began to write the events of the day.

_He actually thought he found my diary and started doing the things I said I wished a boy would do. First, I can't believe I actually left this book unlocked… I need to be more careful, frankly. Secondly, I can't believe he actually went through the trouble of writing a poem. It would have been hilarious to read, but once it got to the "sour milk" part, I decided that I was better off forgetting it. The flowers were nice, though… Too bad I shoved those back in his face. He was trying to convince me that this was my diary, but I told him that it was Lilliana's, from Ravenclaw, and that my name wasn't Lilliana. Well, the latter part is true, but hopefully he never finds out that that Prefect, Lilliana, doesn't exist!_


	5. Chapter 5

The concept of the "guy friend" was truly a double-edged sword. In one way, it was great to have a boy who was willing to joke around with you, and someone you could laugh and play with, without feeling obligated to bring the relationship up to the next step. On the other hand, the "guy friend" could easily make any boyfriend prospect quite jealous, or an actual boyfriend somewhat suspicious. The latter was the problem Ms. Lily Evans found herself in during the middle of her Seventh Year at Hogwarts, much to her dismay.

His name was Ralph—a bland name, but his personality was far from boring. He was one of the few people who could make here laugh without feeling guilty—that is, he wasn't the kind to crack jokes at other people's expenses like some people she knew… He was smart, just like Lily, but had a way of getting her away from the books for a few hours every week to go do something adventurous. He was in Seventh Year as well, though he was in Ravenclaw rather than Gryffindor, but that was no matter. Dumbledore had been advocating inter-house unity, had he not? But the best thing was that he had a girlfriend, and one that he was likely to run off and marry any day, which gave her much confidence that nothing would ever happen between the two of them. Perhaps this was for the best, for Lily had a boyfriend of her own, and Mr. Potter did not like competition.

It was the beginning of November when it happened, and a day like any other. Lily was out on the Grounds, enjoying the light snow that had hit Hogwarts the night before. She was sitting peacefully underneath a tree, book in hand, and she couldn't have been happier. She hadn't been reading for more than ten minutes, though, when she began to faintly hear the sound of her name being called mixed in with the sound of the wind blowing past her ears and students' laughter in the vague distance. She glanced up for a moment, and immediately spotted Ralph running towards her, a grin on his face. She set down her book under the tree in a dry spot where the snow hadn't hit, and stood up to see him.

"You seem happy," she called out, laughing a bit as his grin widened. Only a few seconds later, he was only a few meters away and still running full speed. "You can slow down you know," she informed him, raising her eyebrows as she raised her hands up in defense as if she was afraid he might run her down.

He didn't though. Instead, he came onto her with a huge hug, full force. She stumbled back a few steps lowering her hands and laughing along the way at his behavior. "As I said. You seem happy," she repeated with difficulty, finally separating from his embrace.

"I can't tell you how excited I am," he began, but then looked her over, frowning slightly for a moment. "You look freezing! Here, take my cloak," he said, immediately tearing off his cloak before wrapping it around her shoulders. She only protested for a moment, but gave up as she waited anxiously for his news. "There. Now, I have incredible news to tell you," he said, that grin right back on his face.

Once his cloak was resting on her shoulders, she continued to speak. "Well, go on! What's happened?" she asked with excitement, her eyes bright with mirth.

"Laura and I are engaged. I asked her last night!"

"Oh, Ralph!" Lily exclaimed, embracing him once more and kissing him lightly on the cheek. "That's fantastic! I'm so happy for you two." Stepping back from the embrace, she gently held his hands in hers as he continued to tell his story.

"Yeah, I asked her to come to th—…" Before he could finish his sentence, though, he was cut off by someone else trying to get Lily's attention.

"LILY!"

Turning her head, Lily dropped Ralph's hands just as she saw the form of James, not looking nearly as happy as Ralph was. "Oh, hey James," she said, her voice laced with slight frustration, though she tried her best to hide it.

He marched right up to the two of them, glaring at Ralph the entire time. "Excuse me, Lily dearest, could I talk to you for a moment? In private?" he asked Lily, though his eyes stayed trained on the other male in disgust.

"James, please—…" Lily began, but Ralph cut her off, shaking his head.

"No, Lily, it's fine. I'll talk to you about it later." With that, he touched her shoulder lightly before turning and heading back to the castle.

"What do you want?" Lily asked, raising her eyebrows in question. "I was having quite an important conversation, or perhaps you didn't notice?" The previously hidden anger was beginning to seep out of her voice.

"Oh, I'm sure! You seemed to be having a very important conversation. You were holding his hands!"

"Yes, because—…" James was not about to let her finish, apparently.

"And then he touched your shoulder! And you two were hugging, and you're underneath our tree!"

"First of all, this isn't our tree. I'm sure plenty of other things have happened under this tree. I don't think they planted it planning for you to ask me out underneath it."

"No! That's not why it's important, Lily! It's because you accepted underneath this tree," James exclaimed, eyes narrowing.

"Alright, sorry. But that's besides the point. I can do whatever I want underneath this tree," she informed him, rolling her eyes.

"Well, why are you wearing his cloak? Huh? Tell me that!" James demanded, jabbing her shoulder with an accusatory finger.

"Excuse me!" she exclaimed, touching her shoulder. "I was cold. Is that a crime?"

"You could've taken mine! I bet mine's better, too," he said stubbornly, beginning to take off his coat to offer her.

"You weren't here, you twit! I'm not going to go inside to go find you to borrow your cloak and then come right back outside. I can't think of a better way to waste time."

"I suppose… But I'm here now! Here," he began as he began to put it over Ralph's.

"No, stop. This is fine. I don't need two. I'll roast to death," she said with a sigh, shaking her head as she pushed away his cloak.

"Well…You still haven't told me why you two were…Holding hands and…Hugging," he said, spitting out the words with venom.

"He just asked his bloody girlfriend to marry him! They're engaged you idiot! I was congratulating him!" Lily yelled angrily, putting her hands on her hips in frustration.

James merely stared at her for several seconds, before looking down at his feet sheepishly. "Oh…"

"Yeah, oh. Sorry if friends are no longer allowed to be happy for each other."

"But…But he's a guy," James protested weakly, something akin to a pout appearing on his face.

"Yeah, he's a guy. Can I not have guy friends?" Lily asked slowly, a bit surprised that they were even having this conversation. What surprised her even more was his response.

"Well…." James slowly said, but Lily immediately stopped him.

"No, don't answer that. If you say no, I refuse to go on another date with you. I won't change my friends for you," Lily told him firmly, crossing her arms.

"But I changed for you!" James shot back, frowning.

"But I never asked you to stop being a Marauder or some shit like that. You still out and get drunk with them—and don't deny that," she challenged him with a raised eyebrow. "Come on, James. You know you're being ridiculous about this, don't you?"

With another sigh, James sullenly kicked up some snow, quite embarrassed about his accusations. Still, his pride got in the way, and he refused to admit that he had been wrong.

"Oh, now don't give me that," Lily said, her demeanor changing as she let out a laugh. She took a step towards him, closing the space between them before she hooked her arm with his. "There's no reason to be a jealous boyfriend, because there is nothing to be jealous of." With that, she leaned up, kissing him momentarily before she rested her head on his shoulder lightly.

A smile came to James' face, and with that, they slowly walked back to the castle, her book forgotten. Things, for once, had resolved quite nicely.


	6. Chapter 6

Misunderstandings were often the true root and body of awkward moments. Someone may overhear something and misinterpret it, or may reveal something in a conversation that really should be kept secret, which would result in consequent awkwardness. That was likely why awkward moments often soured relationships, though that wasn't always true. Sometimes, they helped relationships in odd, unknown ways. This is one of those instances.

It was early September during Lily and James' Seventh Year at Hogwarts, but it was not just any day. It was the first day of their last year, and different students had different feelings towards the matter. Some was sad at the thought of leaving the school forever, and others were rather ecstatic to be finally leaving. Lily had been truly excited for her final year (though not because she wanted to leave), especially when she realized that she was Head Girl. When she found out exactly who her partner was, though, those feelings changed completely. In fact, she dreaded the year the moment she found out she would not only have to work with James Potter several times a week, but would have to be living in the Head Dorms with him. It made her cringe.

The idea was absolutely revolting, really, but she kept her anger to herself. That is, when she found out, she merely sat down in the Head Compartment of the train and kept her eyes trained on the opposite wall. Her eyes were narrowed and her lips pursed as she tried her best to keep the anger that was permeating through her body inside her body. And so, for that entire train ride, they sat there in silence, James not daring to speak in fear of making her angrier.

As soon as the train came to Hogwarts, Lily jumped up and hurried out of the compartment, not wanting to spend any more time with him than she needed to. Perhaps it was rude, but she was passed caring. She avoided him for the rest of the night, and it worked out fairly well. In fact, she made it all the way until dinner before she saw him again, and those few hours without him in her sight were utterly beautiful.

Unfortunately, when she did see him again, it wasn't a pleasant conversation they were going to have. She really believed that it was his fault that such bitterness was exchanged between the two of them, especially when he asked her out so much. Speaking of that…

"Lily, I was just wondering if you would like to—…" He began to speak, but Lily knew exactly what was coming next, and she had no intention of letting him continue, especially when they were out in the middle of the Great Hall. She didn't need this again…

"No, Potter, I won't go on a date with you." Her simple answer was spoken as cordially as possible, though he simply wouldn't give up. He touched her shoulder gently, leaning down to speak in her ear, as to not make a scene, clearly.

"No, I was just asking whether—…" He said quietly, looking a bit confused, but Lily cut him off once more.

"For the last time, no!" she said, turning around to glare at him angrily. She shrugged off his hand angrily, letting out of a huff before turning back to her food.

"I think you misunderstand, Lily. We just need to—…" Merlin, he was persistent.

"We don't need to do anything!" Lily exclaimed finally, standing up abruptly. "Will you just leave me alone for once?" she asked him with fury, pushing past him to march out of the Great Hall, no longer able to keep in the anger that had been bubbling up inside of her for so long. She strode up to the Seventh Floor, finding the Head Portrait before she finally made her way into the Head dorms. It was easy to tell which room was hers, considering it was labeled with her name, and without second thought of the git down in the Great Hall, she walked in and slammed the door shut, locking it just in case.

Lily sat down on her bed, closing the curtains around her. After glaring at the curtains for several moments, she let out a cry of frustration and anger and fell back into her bed, deciding to direct her anger at the ceiling instead. Thoughts were zipping through her head, most of which were centered around Mr. James Potter. Everything about him angered her so much, and she blamed it on his endless teasing and fawning. He was infuriating, and she couldn't stand that he got under the skin the way he did.

She stayed there for what seemed like hours, and just as she was about to fall asleep, she heard a small knock on the door. Who else could it be but Potter? And so, with another sigh, she said angrily, "I don't want to talk to you, Potter."

Silence followed for several seconds, and she was sure he had left. Almost a full minute later, though, she heard his voice, though had to strain to understand what he was saying. She threw open the curtains and slowly walked to the door to hear better in the event that he had something important to say. Unlikely.

"I just…" He paused, clearly trying to find the right words to say. "I'm sorry if I made you angry earlier today." Something was different. He sounded different… He didn't sound cocky or arrogant. He sounded humble… How odd. "I wasn't trying to ask you out, but I apologize if I came off that way. Dumbledore just asked if we could meet him tonight, but since you weren't there, I rescheduled for tomorrow after classes." Another pause followed, but Lily remained there, watching the door in confusion. "I hope you don't mind."

Lily looked down at her feet, closing her eyes for several moments as she reveled in her foolishness. It wasn't until she heard him quietly say, "Good night, Lily," when she unlocked and opened the door to stop him. That was when she realized it—he had called her Lily all day long. No more Evans. Just Lily.

"Wait," she said quickly, stepping through the threshold of the door. "I'm sorry, J-James." She stuttered when she said his name, for the word was so foreign on her tongue. It was so odd saying his true name rather than his surname. She almost had to stop and apologize again using his surname, though restrained herself.

He turned around, and she fully expected there to be a condescending smirk on his face, as if to say Hah! I won this one. Instead, there was just a soft smile of understanding. "It's alright," he told her with no sense of cockiness or arrogance. With that, he turned and headed back to his dorm, leaving Lily there to stare at his retreating form.

What a different James this was. He was almost different enough to make her stop him and apologize again for everything. Almost enough to make her consider a date with him. Almost enough for her to wish everything had been different. Almost enough to make her want to start everything over between the two of them. Almost enough to make her smile back at him when they were standing there in the doorway.

Almost.Misunderstandings were often the true root and body of awkward moments. Someone may overhear something and misinterpret it, or may reveal something in a conversation that really should be kept secret, which would result in consequent awkwardness. That was likely why awkward moments often soured relationships, though that wasn't always true. Sometimes, they helped relationships in odd, unknown ways. This is one of those instances.

It was early September during Lily and James' Seventh Year at Hogwarts, but it was not just any day. It was the first day of their last year, and different students had different feelings towards the matter. Some was sad at the thought of leaving the school forever, and others were rather ecstatic to be finally leaving. Lily had been truly excited for her final year (though not because she wanted to leave), especially when she realized that she was Head Girl. When she found out exactly who her partner was, though, those feelings changed completely. In fact, she dreaded the year the moment she found out she would not only have to work with James Potter several times a week, but would have to be living in the Head Dorms with him. It made her cringe.

The idea was absolutely revolting, really, but she kept her anger to herself. That is, when she found out, she merely sat down in the Head Compartment of the train and kept her eyes trained on the opposite wall. Her eyes were narrowed and her lips pursed as she tried her best to keep the anger that was permeating through her body inside her body. And so, for that entire train ride, they sat there in silence, James not daring to speak in fear of making her angrier.

As soon as the train came to Hogwarts, Lily jumped up and hurried out of the compartment, not wanting to spend any more time with him than she needed to. Perhaps it was rude, but she was passed caring. She avoided him for the rest of the night, and it worked out fairly well. In fact, she made it all the way until dinner before she saw him again, and those few hours without him in her sight were utterly beautiful.

Unfortunately, when she did see him again, it wasn't a pleasant conversation they were going to have. She really believed that it was his fault that such bitterness was exchanged between the two of them, especially when he asked her out so much. Speaking of that…

"Lily, I was just wondering if you would like to—…" He began to speak, but Lily knew exactly what was coming next, and she had no intention of letting him continue, especially when they were out in the middle of the Great Hall. She didn't need this again…

"No, Potter, I won't go on a date with you." Her simple answer was spoken as cordially as possible, though he simply wouldn't give up. He touched her shoulder gently, leaning down to speak in her ear, as to not make a scene, clearly.

"No, I was just asking whether—…" He said quietly, looking a bit confused, but Lily cut him off once more.

"For the last time, no!" she said, turning around to glare at him angrily. She shrugged off his hand angrily, letting out of a huff before turning back to her food.

"I think you misunderstand, Lily. We just need to—…" Merlin, he was persistent.

"We don't need to do anything!" Lily exclaimed finally, standing up abruptly. "Will you just leave me alone for once?" she asked him with fury, pushing past him to march out of the Great Hall, no longer able to keep in the anger that had been bubbling up inside of her for so long. She strode up to the Seventh Floor, finding the Head Portrait before she finally made her way into the Head dorms. It was easy to tell which room was hers, considering it was labeled with her name, and without second thought of the git down in the Great Hall, she walked in and slammed the door shut, locking it just in case.

Lily sat down on her bed, closing the curtains around her. After glaring at the curtains for several moments, she let out a cry of frustration and anger and fell back into her bed, deciding to direct her anger at the ceiling instead. Thoughts were zipping through her head, most of which were centered around Mr. James Potter. Everything about him angered her so much, and she blamed it on his endless teasing and fawning. He was infuriating, and she couldn't stand that he got under the skin the way he did.

She stayed there for what seemed like hours, and just as she was about to fall asleep, she heard a small knock on the door. Who else could it be but Potter? And so, with another sigh, she said angrily, "I don't want to talk to you, Potter."

Silence followed for several seconds, and she was sure he had left. Almost a full minute later, though, she heard his voice, though had to strain to understand what he was saying. She threw open the curtains and slowly walked to the door to hear better in the event that he had something important to say. Unlikely.

"I just…" He paused, clearly trying to find the right words to say. "I'm sorry if I made you angry earlier today." Something was different. He sounded different… He didn't sound cocky or arrogant. He sounded humble… How odd. "I wasn't trying to ask you out, but I apologize if I came off that way. Dumbledore just asked if we could meet him tonight, but since you weren't there, I rescheduled for tomorrow after classes." Another pause followed, but Lily remained there, watching the door in confusion. "I hope you don't mind."

Lily looked down at her feet, closing her eyes for several moments as she reveled in her foolishness. It wasn't until she heard him quietly say, "Good night, Lily," when she unlocked and opened the door to stop him. That was when she realized it—he had called her Lily all day long. No more Evans. Just Lily.

"Wait," she said quickly, stepping through the threshold of the door. "I'm sorry, J-James." She stuttered when she said his name, for the word was so foreign on her tongue. It was so odd saying his true name rather than his surname. She almost had to stop and apologize again using his surname, though restrained herself.

He turned around, and she fully expected there to be a condescending smirk on his face, as if to say Hah! I won this one. Instead, there was just a soft smile of understanding. "It's alright," he told her with no sense of cockiness or arrogance. With that, he turned and headed back to his dorm, leaving Lily there to stare at his retreating form.

What a different James this was. He was almost different enough to make her stop him and apologize again for everything. Almost enough to make her consider a date with him. Almost enough for her to wish everything had been different. Almost enough to make her want to start everything over between the two of them. Almost enough to make her smile back at him when they were standing there in the doorway.

Almost.


	7. Chapter 7

Meeting the parents was always a crucial step in a relationship, especially when it was getting serious. Especially when the idea of marriage was not far in the future. Of course, it could be quite a stressful situation for both parties in a relationship. Parents had a way of speculating and probing every facet of a person's personality, perhaps to see if their intentions were noble, or to see if they are good enough for the other partner, or to see if they are good enough for the family. Perhaps stressful wasn't the correct word, then. Traumatic would be a better way of saying it, really. Getting to know a partner's parents was definitely that—traumatic.

It was nearing the end of the final school year for Lily and James when they decided to set aside a weekend to go meet each other's parents. Of course, both were rather worried about the visits, but while Lily assured him that his parents would adore him, James merely replied with, "My mother will think you're perfect." No mention of his father dearest was passed between the two of them, and James wanted to keep it that way.

They started with James' parents, traveling a horrendous eight hours into England (though having the other has company made the ride bearable) before they got off at the station and drove another thirty minutes to his house. His mother was there, though had a driver to bring them to his house. She apologized, and told Lily that his father couldn't be there to pick them up—work. At this, James leaned over to Lily and whispered, "It's always work." She gave him a sympathetic smile, before taking his hand in hers, squeezing it lightly.

They finally arrived, parking outside a house larger than Lily had ever seen, save for Hogwarts, but that didn't count. She immediately identified three stories, but assumed from this that there was also a basement—likely a massive one at that. She was utterly speechless, and didn't notice that the driver had opened the door for her until James cleared his throat and nudged her a bit. She apologized and quickly stepped outside, stepping onto the walkway to once again take in the house.

"C'mon, Lily," James said quietly, putting a hand on her back to gently lead her into the house.

"You live here?" Lily asked him in shock, looking over at him.

"Yes," was his simple reply, though he didn't make a move to glance at her.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were bloody rich?" she whispered to him so that his mother wouldn't hear.

"You didn't ask," he said with a shrug, finally turning his head to look at her, smiling a bit.

"Insufferable," she whispered, shaking her head a bit with a small laugh as they entered his house—no, a house was definitely not the right word. It was a manor.

"Welcome to the Potter residence," he told her as they stepped into a grand hall filled with tapestries, chandeliers, and candelabras.

"Palace," she corrected, nudging him.

At that moment, two large doors opened across the hall, and there emerged a man who bore a striking resemblance to one James Potter, though it was clear that he was many decades his senior. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw James in the middle of a short bow, and when his eyes met hers, she followed him with a curtsey.

"You must be Ms. Evans," he said simply.

"Yes. Good evening Mr. Potter."

It was at that moment when Lily knew not only why James said his mother would love her, but also that she would have to be on her best behavior that night.

James showed her up to her room only a few minutes after this meeting. He carried her luggage up for her, and ushered her into the largest bedroom she'd ever seen. She stopped dead in the doorway, her mouth wide open in shock until James laughed a bit and said, "Keep walking, Lily." She stepped aside and he set aside her luggage. They stood there in silence for several moments before Lily let out a slow sigh.

"Is your father going to hate me?" she asked finally, looking up to him.

"No, of course not. There's nothing to hate," he told her, embracing her.

"I hope so," was her only response as she rested her forehead against his.

"You'll be fine," he assured her, before he broke away from her. He took her hands in his as he looked her over. He told her to wear a nice dress, and that she had. He merely smiled, nodding a bit. "You look great, by the way," he told her, and she smiled to him.

"Thanks," she replied with a small nod.

Suddenly, a small bell rang, and he looked up for a moment. "We should get going. Dinner's ready." She nodded to him once again, hooked her arm in his, and they headed down into the dining room.

When they entered the dining room only his mother was there, standing in front of a chair on one side of a long table. James silently led Lily to a chair across from her and stood next to the one beside her. Just as she was about to reach for the chair to sit down, he grabbed her hand, shaking his head slightly, at which point his mother smiled.

They stood there in silence, which made Lily quite uncomfortable, to say the least. James and his mother, on the other hand, seemed quite used to this behavior, which Lily couldn't help but find a bit odd. After nearly two minutes of standing there in silence, the doors opened once again to show Mr. Potter once more. Immediately, he moved to the chair beside his wife in silence. After a slight nod, Lily found her chair being pulled out by a small House Elf. Looking at James out of the corner of her eye, she followed his movements and sat down as he did. It wasn't until that moment when Lily noticed the many plates, knives, forks, spoons, and cups placed before her. Never before had she seen so much china and silverware in her life! Slowly, she took her napkin and placed it on her lap as the rest of them did, hoping she remembered that lesson on manners and proper dinners she took when she was five.

They sat in silence, which she began to realize was quite common in this household. Lily merely kept her eyes trained on the top soup bowl, her hands folded in her lap. It wasn't until their bowls began to be filled with soup when one of them spoke—that is, Mr. Potter spoke.

"So…Ms. Evans," he began, taking several seconds to mull over what he was going to say. "James has told us plenty about you. I hear you are quite intelligent for your age." For a moment, she thought he was going to say, 'for a female." Thankfully, he didn't.

In response, she smiled a bit, looking back down at her bowl for a moment. As she began speaking, she looked back up, trying her best to seem confident. "I'm sure he's exaggerated just a bit," she said, hoping that being humble would pay off. It didn't.

"Now, Ms. Evans, don't be modest. It's much more becoming to be proud of one's achievements," Mr. Potter said simply, taking a sip of the wine that was poured for him.

They ate in silence for several moments, and as every moment went by, Lily felt a knot grow in her stomach as she slowly dreaded the next question that would be asked. Thankfully, it came from Mrs. Potter.

"Where's your family from?" she asked politely, smiling warmly, which Lily appreciated greatly.

"We've always lived in Stratford-upon-Avon," she said quietly.

"Ah, Shakespeare?" Mr. Potter said, raising his eyebrows to her.

"Yes, he was born there," Lily responded with a small nod.

"Have you ever visited his house, dear?" Mrs. Potter asked simply.

"Over the summer I actually work there. I help do tours for tourists," she told them, glancing at James for a moment who seemed content on staying silent.

Silence reigned through the room as his two parents stared at her for several seconds, before continuing to eat. It wasn't two minutes before Mr. Potter was questioning her once more.

"Now, I'm trying my best to remember the Evans family." At this, Lily looked up quickly, clearly confused. "I thought there was one residing up in Edinburgh, but I didn't know of any in…Stratford-upon-Avon." The questioning was still rather pleasant, but at that moment, Lily knew it would be taking a turn for the worse.

"I'm sure there are plenty of other Evans families. But I'm sure our family has only lived in Stratford-upon-Avon. My entire family," Lily told him, trying to be as polite as possible.

"Curious. I wasn't aware there was more than one Evans family," Mr. Potter said simply.

"Father?" James said finally, looking up to him as he set down his spoon.

"Yes, James?" Mr. Potter said, looking over to his son.

"Lily's not Pureblood," he said quietly, refusing to avert his gaze.

The silence that followed this was deafening—not even the House Elves moved. At this point, Lily was on the verge of tears, and she set her spoon down quickly. Clasping her hands in her lap, she tried her best to calm herself before she broke down.

"Oh," Mr. Potter said finally, breaking the uncomfortable silence with an even more uncomfortable question. "You must be a half-blood then? I'm afraid I don't keep track of those families." At this, Mrs. Potter gently touched her husband's arm, trying the best to keep him cordial.

"Father, she's a Muggleborn."

Never before in her life had Lily ever wanted to dig herself a hole, crawl into it, and simple hide forever. It was almost disgusting how awful she felt. She simply couldn't bear it any longer. "I'm very sorry. I'm not feeling very well…If you'll excuse me." With that, she stood up slowly, nodding to Mrs. Potter. "Thank you for dinner," she said quickly. She could feel Mr. Potter's eyes on her, along with James', but she refused to look at either of them before she hurried out and ran up to the stairs to where she thought her room was. Of course, it didn't take long for her to take just one wrong turn and end up completely lost, now sobbing in frustration and humiliation. What an awful night.

James turned his head back to stare down at his soup as the door closed behind Lily, unable to speak. "James, I'd like to talk to you in the study," his father said, standing up.

"Yes, father," James said quietly.

"Now," Mr. Potter said firmly, at which point James also stood.

"Yes, father."

They were leaving the dining room when James heard his mother say, "Pipsy, I don't think we'll be taking the rest of our courses tonight. Thank you."

The two Potters walked to the study in silence, and as they arrived, his father sat down in a rather large chair in front of the fire that was burning there. James, in turn, sat in the chair across from his father with a sigh.

"I was hoping to learn a bit more than that from her tonight," his father said simply, watching his son carefully.

"I think you made her uncomfortable, father."

They sat, once again, in silence for several moments as they mulled over the events of the night. "She's Muggleborn," his father eventually said, looking away from James over to the fire.

"Yes," James replied, keeping his eyes on his father the entire time.

"Son… She seems nice enough, and you seem to like her quite a bit," Mr. Potter said, turning back to look at James. "Don't think I have anything against Muggleborns, because I don't. She can become an Auror like you said she wants to, and she can go off and marry someone very nice and have a great life… But that nice person she marries will have to be a half-blood at the most, and you know it!"

"Father—…" James began, though stopped when his father raised up a hand to silence him.

"I won't hear anything more about this. I know what your intentions with this girl were, but I won't allow you to marry her. Have a relationship if you'd like, but we're Pureblood, James. It's something we're proud of."

He would not hear another word of it. As soon as his father finished, James stood up and marched right out of the room—likely the rudest thing he had ever done in front of his father. This would not be the end, though. If he wanted, James would marry Lily… He would.

After James left, he headed up to Lily's room to find her. Knocking on the door, he got no response, and when he opened it, he found no Lily inside. Letting out a sigh, he went off on a trek to find her in the house. It didn't take ten minutes for him to hear her crying which led him to her quite quickly. When he found her, she looked up for a moment to see who it was, and then looked back down, clearly embarrassed.

"James…" she said quietly, her voice muffled as she spoke into her hands.

"Lily, don't cry," he said gently. He took several steps to her, before kneeling down to comfort her with a gentle hand on her back.

"They hate me! I tried so hard to be nice and polite like they wanted, and they still hated me!"

"They didn't hate you," James said, doing her best to assure and comfort her.

"Yes they did! Did you see the way your father looked at me when you said I was Muggleborn? I've never been so ashamed of myself…"

"Why in the world would you be ashamed of yourself, Lily? If anyone should be ashamed, it's my father. Merlin, Lily, you're the best thing that's happened to me, and he's not going to bring us down now," he told her, gently lifting her head to look at him. "I've never seen Lily Evans cry in my life, and I assure you that this isn't something you need to cry over. They aren't worth it," he told her softly, smiling a bit to her.

With a sniff, she did her best to smile back, though couldn't help but avert her eyes. She knew exactly how she looked—red blotchy face, mussed up hair, bloodshot eyes. She knew that she had to be quite the sight, and wasn't exactly proud of it.

"Now, why are you all the way in the south wing?" he asked her, helping her to her feet.

"I got lost," Lily told him in embarrassment, looking down at her feet with a small laugh.

"Then I suppose I just won't leave your side; if you have me with you, I'll never let you get lost," he told her, putting an arm around her as he led her back to her room.

The two of them stayed at the Potter's residence for two more days, though the rest of Lily's meals were spent with James and James only. She didn't mind one bit, though, because she was perfectly fine without the tension between all of them. After these two days were up, they headed off to Stratford-upon-Avon to meet the Evans family. Despite the luxuriousness of James' home, Lily couldn't help but be relieved to be getting away from the place and going to a much warmer, welcome place. James, on the other hand, was more than a bit nervous.

It took considerably less time to get to the Evans' home, which was greatly appreciated by both parties. Their arrival was significantly less magnificent than that of the Potter's home, likely because the small cottage the Evans lived in was…Considerably smaller than the Potter's "palace," to say the least.

As the car stopped, the driver that had ferried them there opened the door to let them out. Once they stepped onto the sidewalk, Lily nudged James a bit. "Slightly less climactic, don't you think?" she joked, laughing a bit. "Now, say goodbye to your driver, because I'm afraid we have no bits of luxury in my home. No magic, either." The latter part was a bit quieter, simply because they were in a Muggle part of town.

At this last part, James stopped dead, staring at her. He had completely forgotten that being Muggle meant that their house had no magic. "Then how do you toast your bread?"

"Toaster oven. Fantastic invention, if I could say so myself."

James' jaw dropped, but before he could respond, Lily was dragging him towards the house, luggage in hand. "Now, unlike your family, you don't have to bow or anything when you see them. Just…Smile, alright? They'll like that." As she said this, Lily rang the doorbell with her free hand, and in no time at all, her mother was at the door, quickly followed by her father.

"Lily!" they exclaimed, smiling widely at the two of them as they were ushered inside.

"And you must be James," Lily's mother said jovially. As James put down his luggage, he stuck out his hand for her to shake, smiling a bit just as Lily had told him. Mrs. Evans looked down at his hand for a moment and then back to him, her grin widening. With this, she enveloped James in a large hug. "We're so excited to have you here, honey," she told him.

"Now, Lily. Show James to his room, will you? I have dinner on the stove and it will be ready in just a bit," her mother said, nodding to both of them.

Lily nodded in return, grabbing her luggage just as James did. "C'mon," she said, heading up a narrow staircase up to the second floor of the house. "I think you've seen that my house isn't quite as…. Spectacular as yours," Lily said, giving him an apologetic smile.

"You think I like living in that place? I feel like I've been pushed back into feudal England or something… And believe me when I say I've gotten lost my fair share of times in there. Believe me, a nice little place is perfect in my eyes."

Lily smiled, and leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek. "That means a lot to me," she told him, before looking back ahead to see that they were at the guest room. "So, you're right here and I'm across the hall, right there," she said, pointing out each room as they went. She opened up the door they were at the reveal a small bedroom. "Welcome to your chambers, m'lord," she said with a mock curtsey.

They put away their things in their respective rooms, and then headed back down to the kitchen together. "Mom, do you need any help?" Lily called out as they neared the kitchen.

"That would be wonderful, dear," she called back.

As they reached the kitchen, though, Mr. Evans came into the picture. He had been sitting at the table in the kitchen, and stood up as both of them came in. "James, do you think I could talk to you for a bit?" he asked, his tone quite friendly, smiling.

"Sure, Mr. Evans," James said, returning the smile.

Lily watched them carefully, looking a bit uneasy as they left the kitchen for the living room. "Oh Merlin…" she said under her breath, hoping that James knew what he had gotten himself into.

James and Mr. Evans arrived in the living room, and they both sat in their respective chairs. Once they sat down, James noticed that that friendly smile that had been on his face had disappeared… He couldn't help but feel just a bit uneasy.

"Lily's told us plenty about you," Mr. Evans said simply.

"I hope it wasn't all bad," James said jokingly, but Mr. Evans clearly didn't see the joke.

"It was all bad," he told James, frowning.

"Oh…" James said in response, looking down at his hands uncomfortably.

"She's told me about how obnoxious you are, and how you care about no one but yourself, and how you break the rules constantly and laugh at other people's expenses… That's just the beginning, Mr. Potter," he told him. James decided that it was probably best to stay quiet at this point. "My Lily's a smart girl. I trust her judgment, but I don't trust you."

"Mr. Evans, I really love Lily," James assured him, looking back up.

"And are you serious about her?"

"Yes, sir," James responded.

"She told me that she wanted to fight when she got out of Hogwarts…Become an Auror, I think it is. If that's what she wants to do, then I support her. But if she goes off and marries you or something, she won't be able to follow her dreams."

"Sir, we were going to train together… I want to be an Auror as well, and we were going to go through all the training and testing together, to make it a bit easier for both of us…" James said slowly.

"I see… Well, Mr. Potter, I just asked you in here so that I could let you know that I have a shotgun, and I'm not afraid to use it for my little girl," he said simply. "Do they have shotguns in the Wizard World, Mr. Potter?" James shook his head at this, looking a bit confused. "Well, let me tell you what it is. It's this contraption that holds a bullet, about this big," he said, holding up his fingers to show the size of a bullet, "and it propels this bullet at living things and it kills them."

James' eyes widened as he stared at Lily's father, utterly shocked.

"Don't do anything wrong, and you won't ever have to see that. If you hurt Lily, I would be afraid," he told him, before a smile broke out on his face. "We have an understanding, yes?"

James nodded quickly, refusing to say a word, too afraid that he may say the wrong thing.

"Right. Well, I think I smell dinner. Let's go eat," he decided, the jovial tone in his voice back. With that, they headed back to the kitchen, James feeling more than just a bit shaky.

Diner went by splendidly (Lily said it was because her sister had already been married off, and wasn't there to make a fuss), and James was thankful that there was no more talk of shotguns or any other odd contraptions that would kill him. Afterwards, he began helping Mrs. Evans do the dishes, but ended up being more trouble than he was worth, considering she was washing the Muggle way. She told him to head off to bed, and that she would be fine, and so James headed up to his room. Less than ten minutes later, he heard a knock in the door, and Lily came in.

"James?" she asked, poking her head in a bit.

He got up to see her, leading her into his room. "I hope my dad wasn't too bad…"

"He was fine," James assured her as they laid down on the ground next to each other.

"He told you about the shotgun, didn't he…" Lily said in embarrassment.

"Yeah, but I have nothing to worry about, because I would never do anything to hurt you," he told her, taking one of her hands in his.

"Merlin, our parents are crazy," Lily said jokingly.

"You can say that again…" James said slowly, and with that, they sat in silence for quite some time, merely enjoying each other's company.

"Lily?" James finally whispered.

"Mmhm?"

"Will you marry me?"

With this, Lily opened her eyes, sitting up to look at him. "What?" she asked in confusion.

"I want to marry you, Lily," he told her. "As soon as school gets out. Will you marry me?" he asked once more, sitting up with her.

Lily let out a small laugh, finally nodding enthusiastically. "Of course. Your dad won't be angry?" she asked.

"I don't care," he told her, shaking his head. "He doesn't matter. You're the only one that matters, Lily."

"I love you, James," Lily told him, smiling softly to him.

"I love you too."


	8. Chapter 8

Her last year in school had proven, quite quickly, to be much more difficult and stressful than Lily Evans had ever suspected it would be. Of course, she knew that her Head Duties would be time consuming, but she had no idea exactly how much time that meant. It was only a few weeks into the year, and she could have sworn that she had seen James Potter more within those couple weeks than she had in her entire life. Surprisingly, it wasn't as bad as she though it would be, but it wasn't exactly pleasant either.

They patrolled once or twice a week, talked to professors and Dumbledore, scheduled events and Hogsmeade trips, organized the Prefects, and finally, every week, she had Prefect meetings that she conducted alongside James. It was on the same day and the same time every week, but for some odd reason, James simply couldn't remember it. "Thursday night, every week, seven o'clock, PM. That's PM, James. I don't want you coming in the morning again and complaining that no one was there. Did you hear that? Are you listening to me? Thursday, seven o'clock." She seemed to say that to him every other day, but it simply hadn't been drilled into his head just yet. Or he was just trying to drive her crazy, which was probably more likely.

Thursday came, and a bit after six o'clock, Lily was sitting in the Head Common Room, reading as she waited for the Prefect meeting to begin. It wasn't six thirty before she heard the shower in their bathroom turn on, and she let out an exasperated sigh. By the first week in the Head Dorms, Lily learned that James took showers longer than anyone she knew, including Marlene. That girl could stay in a shower all day long and be content, much to the dismay of her dorm mates. But no, James beat her in that contest, and by quite a bit.

It occurred to Lily in a mere ten minutes that he probably wouldn't be out of the shower in time for the meeting. Meaning he forgot about it. Fantastic. She had no intention of letting him miss one more meeting, and decided that it was her responsibility, as Head Girl, to get him there this week. Closing her book quickly, she set it down with a shake of her head before she headed up to the bathrooms. As she neared it, she began to hear James inside, and what she heard surprised her.

"ONCE I GET YOU UP THERRRE, WHERE THE AIR IS RARIFIED!" Lily stood there, quite confused, until he continued with a perfectly awful, "WE'LL JUST GLIDE, STARRY-EYED!" Ah, he was singing. Terribly off-key, in fact.

"ONCE I GET YOU UP THERRRRE I'LL BE HOLDING YOUUU SO NEAR!" he screeched, and Lily immediately rolled her eyes. The things that boy did…

"James, don't forget about the Prefect's meeting," she called through the door, hoping that he would hear above the water and his singing. She waited for a response, and when she got none, she pushed her ear against the door in an attempt to hear if he was saying anything.

Instead, though, she was greeted with a, "YOU MAY HEAR ANGELS CHEER 'CAUSE WE'RE TOGETHER!" And then, there was nothing. She figured he was done, and knocked on the door once more.

"Are you done now? James, we have a Prefect's meeting!"

"What are the words to that song? Ugh, damn Muggle songs. Can't remember them. LA LAAAAAA LA LA LA," he sang instead, forgetting about the words completely now.

By this point, Lily was getting quite frustrated, to the point where she was pounding on the door, demanding that he come out, but he was quite content with ignoring her. When she still got no response, she leaned against the door, sliding down it to wait until he finally stopped. He didn't.

In a last attempt to get him out of there, she called, "IF YOU COME OUT NOW, I'LL KISS YOU!" As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she knew it was a bad idea. Of course he'd hear that…

Immediately, the water stopped and James quickly popped his head out of the door, successfully hitting Lily's head with the knob. "What was that?" he asked, raising his eyebrows, looking down immediately to see Lily on the ground. "What're you doing down there?" he asked with a smirk.

"Now you come out…" she said with a clear roll of her eyes as she rubbed the back of her head. "I just wanted to tell you—…" she began, standing up, though stopped as he opened the door fully.

There stood James Potter in all of his glory (though Lily would forever deny using such a word to describe him), holding up a towel around his waist with one of his hands. Quickly, she looked down at the ground, blushing deeply. She could just feel the grin on his face.

"Something wrong?" he asked innocently.

"You could put on a shirt or something," she suggested sarcastically.

"You're right. I could," he said with a nod, making no effort to move.

"Then why don't you?" she asked, still refusing to look at him, still quite flushed.

"I don't see a shirt around here," he responded, feigning to look around the bathroom and hall. "You could let me have yours," he suggested, sounding perfectly serious at first. She looked up at him in disbelief, and he laughed quickly, shaking his head. "I was just kidding, Lils."

"Don't call me—…" she began, though he cut her off.

"I know, I know. Sorry," he told her, leaning against the doorframe finally. "Now, what did you need?"

"We have a Prefect meeting."

"Oh, yeah. I know. You didn't think I'd forget, did you?" he asked with another laugh, grinning to her. "I'll be there. We still have twenty minutes until it starts," he told her with a shrug. "But I need to get back to showering unless you want me to come without any clothes on with shampoo in my hair, which I know you'd simply adore."

"Just don't be late," Lily snapped, frowning. She turned to leave, but stopped, smirking to herself. "Lovely concert, by the way," she told him without turning to look at him, before she continued down to the Head Common Room.

"Any time, dear!" he called back, before he shut the door behind him to finish his shower.

Seven o'clock came, and Lily was standing in the unused classroom they used every week, and there was no James to be seen. She checked her watch, tapping her foot impatiently, before she finally decided to begin. "Sorry everyone. The Head Boy is—…"

"Right here," James finished, stepping inside the room with a smile.

"Late," Lily pointed out, frowning.

"Nah, everyone else is just early." Suave, as per usual.

Lily looked around the room, and suddenly, everyone looked happy that he was finally there. With a huff, she narrowed her eyes and looked at him. "Would you like to give them an explanation?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry everyone. The Head Girl here caught me in the shower…Interesting situation really…" he said, winking to the Prefects as his words drifted off.

Lily promptly elbowed him, pursing her lips. "You make it sound like… Ugh. Never mind," she said grudgingly. "Now, to business."

"Wait, I want to hear this story," a fifth year Hufflepuff said, and several people agreed hastily, some giggling to themselves. Lily shot a glare across the room to the girl, clenching her jaw with indignation.

"See, I was singing a nice little song in the shower, and I was having a grand time, and Lily came knocking on the door and she told me that she'd kiss me if I came out! I still need to collect on that, by the way. Anyways, despite my utter and complete shock, I came out. I think she just wanted to see me without a shirt on. Saucy wench," he joked, though Lily didn't find it all that funny and promptly marched out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"And that's when I tell you all that you're released for the week. Oh, and don't tease Lily. She'll have my head on a plate," he said quickly with a final grin, before he scooted out behind Lily.

She hadn't gotten far, and he jogged up behind her, grabbing her arm to stop her. She spun around, and did something quite unexpected.

She kissed him.

And then slapped him.

"There. Now you won't follow me around demanding a kiss, and you'll have something to gossip about, hm?" she said, clearly not too happy about the situation, though he couldn't help but catch a tint of a blush on her cheeks as she turned and left.

He stood there, utterly shocked by her actions. Before she turned the corner, though, he quickly called out, "Thursday night, next week, seven o'clock, PM. That's PM, Lily! I don't want you coming in the morning and complaining that no one was there. Did you hear that? Are you listening to me? Thursday, seven o'clock! Don't forget, Lily!"


	9. Chapter 9

No matter how hard one tried, there were always certain things that were unattainable. You could fight for them all your life, and sometimes, you still wouldn't get them. Some people keep fighting and persevering, hoping that they'll achieve their goal, and others give up completely. Finally, there are those who simply put their goals on hold, so to speak.

James Potter was one of those people. It wasn't he had given up on his love interest, Ms. Lily Evans, really. It was more that she had deflated his ego far too much with all of her berating, and he needed a little boost before he went back after her. It was near the end of his sixth year at school when he went up to a fellow Gryffindor of his age and asked her quite politely if he could accompany her to Hogsmeade. He didn't really know her, but that wasn't really a problem. Of course, she stared at him rather oddly, and even cocked her head to the side slightly in question.

"You don't still like Lily?" the girl, Chartreuse, had asked him in pure and utter confusion.

In response, he had merely said, "Not today…" in a quiet tone, smiling to her. This was enough of an answer for her, and she accepted graciously.

The date had gone splendidly, and James actually found himself enjoying himself, save for the thoughts of Lily that kept invading his mind. They went to Honeydukes first, a tradition of his, and they got themselves some candy. They both agreed to get some odd kind like crystallized pixie wings and gummy giant's teeth and laughed together as they ate them in disgust. They went to Zonko's, and at one point, James thought about how Lily would never be up for such a thing, though told himself that Lily wasn't there to care. They passed a bookstore at one point, and James turned to it automatically, asking if she wanted to go in. In response, she merely shook her head and laughed a bit, though he could only bring himself to force a small chuckle out of his mouth. Lily would have liked the bookstore…

As they reached the Three Broomsticks, packed to the brim with wizards and witches of all kinds, he realized that he had been thinking about Lily all day on his date with another girl. Guilt settled in, and he immediately offered to buy them a few butterbeers as they seated themselves at a booth. She didn't seem to notice that he was out of sorts, though, which relieved him beyond anything. Although he may like Lily far more than this Chartreuse girl, he didn't want to upset her… He pushed Lily out of his mind as the butterbeers arrived, and simply talked to her. That was simple enough, right?

Not too far away, Lily was walking down the cobblestone streets, several books in her hands. Next to her was a very well known person to not only her, but the boy in the Three Broomsticks enjoying his drink: Remus Lupin. The two weren't on a date, really, but instead, they simply decided to go out to Hogsmeade together. They were Prefects together, afterall, and had become quite close since fifth year. Both of them rarely went to Hogsmeade because of school related activities, like studying, but they both decided to go, mainly for the books they were sure to acquire.

After a long visit to the bookstore and after spending far too much money on tattered books, they found themselves quite parched and just a bit hungry. Of course, they immediately made their way to the Three Broomsticks, where it wasn't hard to spot Remus' best friend. Naturally, he pulled Lily over to James, a large smile on his face (he had always been rooting for the two of them, afterall.) Once he saw the back of another girl's head and two butterbeers in front of them, his smile dropped slightly. He began to lead Lily in the opposite direction, but she had already seen him.

"Is that James?" she asked slowly, arching her neck in an attempt to confirm her question.

Without looking, Remus chuckled hopelessly, turning them right back around. "Right you are," he said simply. The damage was done. He knew he had better make the best of things.

As they reached the booth, Remus gently put a hand on Lily's back, pushing her into the booth next to Chartreuse before seating himself next to her. "Hope you don't mind if we join you," he said, a forced smile suddenly coming to his face.

The exchange of glances was quite awkward to say the least…James was focused on how close Remus and Lily were, though kept reminding himself that he wasn't there to think about Lily. Chartreuse's eyes were glancing between Lily and James rapidly, waiting to see what the other would do as each second passed. Remus, of course, was playing dumb, acting as if the tension in the air was simply nonexistent, while Lily stared down at the veins in the table.

James truly felt as if he should be angry that Remus was interfering in his date, but for some reason, he was relieved that his friend had showed up. Walking around and going into stores hadn't been that bad with her because they weren't required to talk, but the moment the two sat in that booth and got butterbeers, he began comparing everything Chartreuse said with what Lily would say if she was there. No matter how many times he told himself that he couldn't think about Lily, he just couldn't get her out of his mind.

After several seconds of awkwardness, Lily looked up, a smile coming to her face. "So, are you two here together?" Of course, there were hidden connotations in the words she said. She didn't mean to ask if they were simply there together, because she could see that very clearly. Instead, she meant to ask if they were on a date, and if they said yes, she knew that it was time for her to get out of there.

Chartreuse was first to answer.

"Yes," she said immediately, almost defensively, searching Lily's face for disappointment. None came, though, and Lily just kept smiling in her direction with a small nod.

"That's nice," she replied, glancing over at James for only a split second, only to see that he was staring at her intently.

As soon as she turned away from him, she stood back up, looking at Remus. "Sorry, I need to use the restroom," she said politely, waiting for him to move. Instead of getting up like any gentleman would, he slouched down in his seat, smiling a bit.

"I don't want to get up Lily… I'm tired…" James shot a look at him, clenching his jaw slightly. He knew what Remus was up to…

"But there are two people on that side and… It'd be so much easier…" she began, furrowing her brow as she looked at him with confusion and frustration. Prick…

When she received no further answer, she glared slightly in Remus' direction, before she scooted her way past Chartreuse and James, all too aware of how close they were. As soon as she was out, she scurried right past the booth to find the nearest bathroom, or any room for that matter. She just couldn't handle being there…

Once she was out of sight, James looked over at Remus with a scowl, having forgotten about Chartreuse at this point. "What are you doing here, Moony?" he demanded, one hand balled into a fist on the table.

"Getting a butterbeer?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrows a bit. "Oh come on. I didn't know you'd be here, and she spotted you. Besides, I wasn't about to ignore you or something," he told him with a shrug.

"Remus, I can't have her here right now," James said slowly, shaking his head a bit.

"Why? You're here with your date—nice to meet you by the way—and you decided to go on a date to forget about her for a day. You're not doing a very good job if you can't handle her being in the same room as you."

"It's not the fact that she's in the same room…It's the fact that she's at the same table. She hates me, Moony!" James exclaimed.

"Oh, please. If she was over there on the opposite side of the room, you'd be staring at her anyways, and you'd yell at me just the same," Remus said with a roll of his eyes.

Chartreuse looked positively livid, by this point, not all that happy with the fact that these two boys were talking in front of her as if she wasn't there. Thoughts zipped through her mind as she frantically tried to come up with something to something to get his mind off of Lily. She and Lily had never liked each other, afterall. They were never even close to friends. Over the past few hours, she couldn't help but grow just a bit fond of James, and she wasn't about to let a priss like Lily Evans keep his attention like this…

Speak of the devil!

Back came Lily, looking quite refreshed, having sat in the washroom talking to herself, telling herself to calm down over and over for about fives minutes. She kicked her way past Remus, sitting back down quickly. "Did I miss anything?" she asked politely, directing the answer clearly at Remus.

"Nothing," James said quickly, and Lily glanced over at him for just a moment, before looking to Chartreuse. "So. Chartreuse. What classes are you taking next year?" she asked, again, in the most civil voice she could manage.

"I'm dropping Potions and Charms and switching to some easier classes. Y'know, last year, might as well make it fun, right?" she said with a laugh, looking around only to find that no one else was laughing. "What are you taking, James?" she asked quickly, smiling over to him.

"I'm actually taking a few extra so that I can get into Auror training," he said, his eyes trained on Lily who seemed content on avoiding his gaze. As Chartreuse continued to speak, he brought his eyes back to her with a forced smile.

"That's interesting. I want to be a nurse at Mungo's. They get to wear those cool white outfits and all," she said with a wide smile.

At this, Lily looked up, looking up at James condescendingly. She raised an eyebrow momentarily, as if to say, Is this the best you can do? Or You're absolutely hopeless.

"What do you want to do, Lily?" Chartreuse said with a sickly sweet smile, cocking her head slightly. As she said this, she took James' hand in hers, setting them both on the table for the world to see.

Lily seemed quite unfazed, though. She didn't even glance at their hands as she looked back to Chartreuse, an equally sweet smile on her face. "I'm working to be an Auror. I hear their uniforms are pretty wicked, but I'm thinking I'll go into it for the whole saving lives part." Her words were mocking, though her voice was nothing but cordial.

"Do you know how many people are killed doing that?" Chartreuse, on the other hand, had no skill in masking her meaning in any way.

"Indeed," the redhead said simply, her smile widening just a bit. "But you see, I'm trying this new thing where I'm going to be selfless." She paused for a moment, and then caught herself. "That means I'm going to care for other people over myself," she told her sweetly.

Chartreuse was silent. Remus was silent. Lily was silent. James was awestruck. His eyes were whizzing between the two of them, nearly laughing out loud at a few of Lily's remarks. He had known that Chartreuse wasn't the brightest student at Hogwarts, but he didn't bring her out for her brains either. Still, he couldn't help but feel absolute excitement every time Lily threw back a sweet comment utterly dripping in sarcasm.

Remus suddenly cut in before they tore out each other's eyes, and stood up. "Uh, Lily? I told Sirius I'd be back by three. Want to come back with me?" he asked, though had no intention of letting her stay.

"Oh, I'd love to stay but I should probably be getting back too. It was just lovely to speak to you," she said, batting her eyelashes at Chartreuse before scooting out after Remus. She began to walk out of the pub, and as she did, Remus turned to stare wide-eyed at James, before following her out.

"What a tart," Chartreuse said bitterly, narrowing her eyes.

James looked over at her, unable to say anything for several seconds. Finally, he spoke up, but not before he had gotten out of their booth, standing up. "Look, I'm really sorry. This has been great, but…I…I need to get going. Sirius… I… Bye."

With that, he fled. He hadn't made it ten paces out of the restaurant, though, before Remus stopped him.

"Where's Lily?" James asked in confusion.

"Honeydukes. She said she needed to get some chocolates for her roommate. I think she's getting some cockroach clusters to hide in Chartreuses sheets, though. You know why she acted like that, right?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrows to his friend.

"No?" James said in confusion, shaking his head.

"She didn't like who you brought out, so she gracefully pointed out how stupid she was so you wouldn't go on a second date."

"Why would she do that?" he asked once more, hoping that the answer had something to do with Lily liking him.

"Jealous? I don't know the inner workings on a girl's mind, mate, but that's what I'd say."

He didn't even say goodbye to Remus before he bolted to Honeydukes. He threw open the door and found Lily there in line for the counter, cockroach clusters in hand. Walking over casually, he "accidentally" bumped into her, immediately apologizing. They both kneeled down to pick up her candy when their hands touched for just a moment.

"You're not going to eat those, are you?" James asked with a smirk as she pulled away her hand. He picked up the package and stood back up, handing them to her.

"I have no idea as to what you're talking about," she said simply. He was incredibly surprised when she didn't object to him standing there, and so he merely stayed beside her until she had bought her candy. They walked out together and he looked down at the bag and then back at her.

"You're going to do something to Chartreuse, aren't you?" James said, not that it was a question—more of a statement.

"What a tart," Lily said simply, suddenly laughing.

Laughing…When was the last time he had heard her laugh in his presence? It had been a while to say the least.

"I don't think I could have said it better myself."


	10. Chapter 10

The unrequited love was a dangerous love—full of jealousy and treachery and constant obsession. It was painful to both parties for completely separate reasons, but both could inextricably admit that an unrequited attraction could be more destructive than any other kind. Take one James Potter, for instance.

It had been one of James' many goals to either win over Ms. Lily Evans, or get over her. By this point in the beginning of sixth year, he was beginning to believe that the latter might just be the better choice. Hard said than done, though. He had tried everything he could think of to make her adore him. He had tried flowers and candies and poems and declarations of love and sonnets and serenades and humiliation. He was more than sure that he had tried just about everything to woo a girl who was clearly not interested in such things.

That was what he thought, at least.

It was a normal day—or at least as normal as a day at Hogwarts could get—where he had planned to stare at the back of Lily's head for first hour, try his best to invent the newest Quidditch move on paper (again, easier said than done) during his second class, pass notes to whoever would take them during that dreadful double Potions class, and then profess his adorations for Lily after Charms in the way of an invitation to Hogsmeade. It was perfect, really.

Things had gone fairly splendidly, because not only did Lily wear her hair down that day (which looked lovely, he might add), but he was absolutely convinced that he had come up with a new Quidditch move, which he would name after himself, obviously.  _The_   _Potter Feint_. Things were going wonderfully, really. He was positive that with the day going so well that Lily could do nothing but accept.

Of course, he had been quite anxious all through Charms and every time Lily answered another question correctly, he simply got more and more excited. Just as they were dismissed, James jumped up, grabbing his bookbag as a smile came to his face. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lily being called aside by the professor, and he decided to wait outside for her. Hurrying outside, he walked to the wall outside the classroom, leaning against it with a style that could be described as nothing but suave. He would act cool about it… He would be debonair…

Only a few minutes later, Lily walked out of the classroom, but as soon as James was about to talk to her he saw her smile widely at someone across the hall, hurry over to said person, and hug him.  _Him_. That would be a male. He told himself that it was just a friend until he saw Lily kiss this  _guy_  on the cheek.  _Kiss!_  Needless to say, his mouth was hanging wide open and his stomach was churning uncomfortably. He would sort through this…

Jumping from his place on the wall, he dodged the people in the hall until he reached the couple. "Evans!" he exclaimed, grinning to her as he ran his hand through his hair.

Turning, she looked at him, suddenly frowning uncomfortably. "Oh…Hi, Potter." She didn't seem too pleased to see him, and he had to admit that he had no idea why.

"Who's this?" he continued, inwardly cursing at how abrupt it had been.

"Subtle, eh?" the  _guy_  muttered to Lily, at which she smiled a bit.

"This is Jacob… He's in—…" she began, but James immediately interrupted her.

"Ravenclaw. I know. Seeker," he said bitterly, narrowing his eyes at the  _guy_. "You'll be excited to hear I came up with a new Quidditch move, then," James continued in a mocking, arrogant voice.

"Is that right?" Jacob asked, raising his eyebrows in interest.

"Very complicated. It's where you do a double feint followed by two Dobson flips, giving you a chance to counterattack. Don't even think about stealing it because Evans was here to witness that it was mine," he said proudly, sending a smirk over at Lily.

"Yours? That's the McManning double flip, mate."

Silence… Damn… And here he had thought that he had come up with something new. Not only that, but this Jacob had just humiliated him in front of Lily. Double damn.

"I…Well… Lily… Who is he…To you? That's what I meant to ask," he stuttered, deciding to simply put it out there before he was embarrassed any more.

"Um…" Lily stuttered, looking up at Jacob for a moment before back at James. "We're… Sort of dating," she said simply, sounding just a bit nervous about what she was saying.

"Dating?" James repeated, raising his eyebrows suddenly. "Did you say dating?"

"Lily, I'll meet you in the Library, alright? " Jacob whispered to her, touching her shoulder lightly before he continued past her.

"Awful guy right there. He just abandoned you," James said quickly, raising his chin slightly.

"That's because you were making him uncomfortable, Potter. He doesn't want to get in a fight with you. He already made that clear to me, and I completely agree," Lily said firmly, pursing her lips slightly.

"He's afraid of me, then?" A very pleased grin came to his face as he stood up a bit straighter with pride.

"He doesn't want to make a scene, and you should just deal with it!" Lily countered, suddenly looking quite frustrated and just a bit angry.

Looking around, James noticed that quite a few students were being little the eavesdroppers they were, listening in on their conversation. Grabbing Lily's arm, he pulled her into the spare classroom just a few feet from them and closed the door behind him.

"What are you doing?" Lily demanded, placing her hands on her hips. Quite characteristic of her, really.

"I just didn't want the have this conversation in public," he replied in a discreet whisper.

"I wasn't intending on having a conversation about this at all! You don't really have a say in this."

"Now, you know that's not true, Lily," James said slowly, surprised with himself for using her given name.

"And how is that?" she asked him condescendingly, cocking her head to the side in a mocking way.

"I don't like him, Lily," James said soberly. It was the big brother act—be the sensible one.

"You wouldn't like anyone I date! And besides, why should I care what you think!?" she demanded, taking a few steps towards him.

Completely ignoring her words, he continued. "I don't want you to date him."

"Well, that's a given. But honestly, that's just too bad for you because I don't intend to break up with him. He's very nice!" she exclaimed, clearly quite upset.

"No he's not! Did you see how he was mocking me about that McManning double flip!? Bloody prick!"

"That's not true. He was merely telling you that you were  _wrong_ , but if that makes someone a 'bloody prick' then so be it! You're just too selfrighteous to admit that you're not always right, you idiot!" Lily yelled right back, her tone dripping with accusation and fury.

"Evans, just calm down," James began, glancing towards the door in fear that someone might hear, but Lily immediately stopped him.

"I won't calm down. I really can't believe you brought me in here to tell me that I can't date who I want to. You're not my father and you're not my friend, so you're in no position to tell me who I can't go out with."

"But Lily," James continued, but she still wouldn't let him go on.

"We've been at this school for six years, and yes, I've known you've liked me since third year. Three years, James. If I was going to say yes, I would've by now. Any _reasonable_  person would see that, but clearly you're not reasonable."

"Clearly…" James muttered, looking down at his feet.

"Do you know how many boyfriends I've had? None!"

"That's unfortunate," he said as he looked back up at her, smiling innocently.

"Oh, don't even give me that!" Lily exclaimed, shaking her head. "Remus told me, you dolt. He told me that you threatened every guy who's ever liked me, and I'm absolutely ashamed of you. It's not to say that there was a swarm of guys going after me, but those two or three in the past three years? I just can't believe you!"

"It's not as bad as it sounds. I didn't say anything too bad, really…If they really liked you…" he muttered, letting out a slow sigh.

"Oh, yeah right. Telling them you would hex them so badly that they wouldn't walk for a week would hinder just about anyone, wouldn't you say?"

"A bit, I suppose…"

"James…It's not fair…Are you listening?" she asked, her voice lowering quite a bit suddenly as her tone turned incredibly serious. "It's not fair for you to dictate my life or keep me on a leash like this, because we're not friends. I'm  _really_  sorry, but I don't like you, and you just have to accept that. Just… Find another girl, James. There are plenty of pretty girls out there, and even more that would love to date you…" she said slowly.

They stood there, silent, for several moments before she finally turned and left. Bitterly, he knew that Lily was going to the library to find her  _beau_. It still made him sick…

Meanwhile…

Lily made it to the Library fairly quickly, and it didn't take much searching to find Jacob sitting at a table, a stack of books already there. Hurrying over to him, she sat down, smiling a bit. "Sorry about that," she told him exasperatedly.

"I don't know how you handle that kid," Jacob said as he looked up from his book, smiling apologetically.

"I'm not sure either…" she replied with a shake of her head.

"You…You don't like him, right?" he asked hesitantly, searching her face for an honest answer.

Looking over at him, she couldn't help but laugh just a bit. "Believe me—if I did, I wouldn't be holding out this long," she told him, at which he joined in her laughter.

"Good. I wouldn't want him to steal you from me," he teased, glancing back down at his book.

"Believe me, you have  _nothing_ to worry about," she assured him as she dug through her bookbag for a book of her own. "By the way… I just want to apologize in advance for anything he might do," she said casually as she found what she was looking for.

"I think I can handle it," he said without looking up.

"I hope you can…" she muttered under her breath, genuine worry lacing her words.

* * *

The next few months were filled with pranks and insults, not to mention one or two awful hexings on James' part. Clearly, what Lily said to him had left his mind completely, and he was content on ruining Jacob's life, who in turn seemed content on ignoring James as best as he could.

He continued doing this until early December, specifically the first full moon of the month. The four Marauders were out late enough, and early that Saturday morning, they trudged into the Common Room, tired as ever. They were met, though, with the sound of someone crying, quietly, in the corner. All four of them craned their necks to get a view of who had their heart broken, and when they saw a redhead there, three of the four fled up to the dorms.

James stood there, though, standing in the entrance of the Common Room. He stared at Lily who seemed to be ignoring him quite fabulously, listening to the sound of her crying in silence. He tentatively walked over to her, finally stopping when he was a few feet away.

She had her knees drawn up to her chest and her head was resting there on her knees as she sobbed. Without looking up she said, "Get out of my sight," in a quiet, defeated voice very unlike her.

Perhaps she had noticed them…

"Well, you aren't looking at me, Evans…" James said slowly, but stopped when her head snapped up to look at him, a look of malice on her face.

"How dare you."

"What did I do?" James said slowly, frowning to her as he kneeled down to her level.

"Everything. Nothing," she said at an equally slow pace, glaring all the way through.

"I don't understand…" he said in confusion, furrowing his brow.

"You did  _everything_ to ruin his life and you  _never_  made  _any_  indication of stopping!"

"Jacob?" he asked, looking down at the ground.

"Who else, you asshole!"

At this point, he stood up and so did she. He looked at her tearstained face, and for once he didn't feel a bit like saying she looked cute when she was angry, because he didn't find this appealing because this anger and sadness and these tears were all his fault. No…He was feeling guilt…

"You hexed him and you pranked him and you did everything in your power to make him wish he had never met me. Well, congratulations Potter, because you've succeeded! He wishes he never knew me, and made that very clear when he broke up with me because  _you_  were too much baggage! I hope you're very pleased with yourself, because that'll make one of us."

Honestly, he had no idea how she could be so determined and sure of her words when not five minutes ago she had been sobbing her eyes out. One of the many mysteries of life, he supposed.

"Look, Evans…" he began, but she held up a hand to silence him.

"You're sorry. Great bit of good it'll do now, especially since you don't mean it, eh? Merlin, I  _really_  liked him, and you couldn't stand that one bit."

"Well…"

"You can't handle when someone has something you want, can you? Well, let me tell you, Potter: you'll never have me, because you're the most insensitive, upsetting, frustrating, and just plain  _evil_  person I know. It's just not my type," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I really am so—…"

She wouldn't let him finish. "Don't say it, because you don't mean it. So, now that you've successfully broken my heart and ruined my relationship, I'd like to say in all politeness, get the hell out of my life." She wasn't crying anymore. She wasn't yelling either, which was even more upsetting to him for some reason.

This time, he didn't try to respond as she promptly walked up to her dorm with all the calmness in the world. Never had he heard her use such language, and to say the least, he was  _not_  happy to be the one to provoke it. Unable to find the courage to call anything to her, he merely trudged up to his own dorm, ignoring the expecting looks from his fellow Marauders.

"Damn…"


	11. Chapter 11

Most people thought that Lily Evans hated James Potter and that was the end of it. They thought that she yelled at him and criticized him for all the things he did, and then went off on her own, pleased as ever. Regret was never put into the picture, and nor was guilt. There was a simple reason for this, of course, and that was that people didn't delve deep enough into their relationship to consider such trivial things as remorse repentant.

They were wrong, though. Every single one of them made assumptions, and they were assumptions that none of them had a right to make. No, Lily wasn't always happy about the things she said to James, despite what people thought. Sometimes after a particularly brutal fight, she would go back to her dorm, sit on her bed with the curtains drawn and just think. She would think about what she said and what he said, and then she would think about past fights they had, and more often than not, they would make her sick. She wasn't a bad person, and to think she would say such things to anyone—even James—made her feel an unbelievable amount of guilt. She hated it, and so no matter how often she felt this, she always kept it to herself. Besides, before she knew it, she would get carried away once more in a fight and some insult would spew out of her mouth, and that night she would feel the same. It was an endless cycle.

Today had been no exception. The fight had been brutal enough with plenty of insults flying, red-faced screaming, and endless anger. They had almost hexed each other senseless, but Remus, the sensible one of the group, came forward before that happened and separated them. Lily began to stomp back to her dorm while James stayed there, but once she reached the Seventh Floor she had an epiphany and she knew she had to turn around. This time, she would apologize. She would make things right, for once. She would do the right thing.

She hurried as fast as she could because she feared that he would have already left. If he left, she had no chance of finding him until tomorrow, at which point the damage would have already set in. Afterall, the sun had just set and who knew where those Marauders went once the sun went down.

It didn't take long for her to retrace her footsteps and find the door that led into the classroom where this specific fight had taken place. Putting her hand on the doorknob, she prepared herself to face him once and for all, but stopped suddenly when she heard voices inside the room. They were quiet—so quiet that she couldn't make out the words. Determined to find out who was speaking, she pushed her ear to the door, and with just a bit of strain, she could hear the voices.

"It's only April, mate," someone said, who she identified immediately as Remus.

"And then it'll be June and then it'll be Seventh Year and she still won't care," the second voice, James', said.

"Who says she won't fall for you by then?" the third said. This one was Sirius.

"Yeah! She's bound to realize that she's being stupid soon!" Peter. Yes, all four of them were there now, and she had no intention of showing her face in front of them. She would simply make a fool of herself, and she knew it. Instead, she silently sat down in front of her the door, leaning against it to hear what they were saying. Soon enough, she was so caught up in their words that she forgot completely about the odd glances she was getting from the students passing by.

"You guys have been saying that since Third Year. You know it's not going to happen," James said sullenly.

"Now, let's not be negative, mate. If worse comes to worse, you can always find that Lauren girl. She seemed to like you plenty!" Sirius suggested, but the silence to follow seemed to indicate that this wasn't the right thing to say.

"Do you think before you speak, Sirius?" Remus hissed. "Don't answer that," he corrected himself, and she could just picture him rolling his eyes to himself.

"I really like her," James continued as if they hadn't spoken.

"We know, Prongs," Remus said.

"Yeah," Peter added in that eager voice so characteristic to him.

"No, you don't! Every time she calls me an idiot or ignores me, I just…I can't even describe it."

"Have you ever thought of… Changing?" Remus asked slowly.

"A few times, I guess."

"No, mate, you can't change who you are for a girl. That's against Marauder's code, and you know it. She can't be that worth it," Sirius countered.

"But she is! I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I might actually change for this girl."

"Prongs—…" Sirius began, but James immediately stopped him.

"No, Padfoot. This is what I want to do. If this is what it takes to get her attention, then so be it. Worst case scenario is that I end up hating her, and she'd be perfectly fine with that, I'm sure."

"Are you sure you aren't getting a bit too drastic here?" Peter asked him hesitantly.

"No," was his simple, short reply.

"James… Look, don't get me wrong. You may really like this girl, but I think this is just getting unhealthy… I have this great friend named Maria—…"

"The Maria you slept with? Yeah, great friends."

"That's beside the point, Moony. Anyways, I'm sure she'd be more than happy to go on a little date with you. Why don't you just… Give up Evans for a few weeks and see how it goes?"

"No… No, I can't do that," James said firmly.

"Why not?" Sirius demanded.

"Because…Because Lily's the one. I know it." At this point, she heard him stand up, and she slowly leaned her head against the door as guilt continued to boil in the pit of her stomach.

The one. Hearing him talk like this made her feel even worse because this meant that he actually liked her. It wasn't how she had said it was. He didn't just want to win her for the sake of winning her, and he didn't just enjoy teasing her, and he wasn't going to date her and then dump her to humiliate her. He really liked her…

These thoughts left her as quickly as they came when she suddenly felt the door she was leaning on begin to open. Whoever was attempting to open this door immediately felt whatever was stopping it and pushed a bit harder. The door hit her head and she let out a defeated, "Ow!" before she stood up quickly, taking a few steps away from the door.

Sirius was there, having just opened the door. The other three were slowly walking to the door to see what the problem had been. When they all saw Lily, they each had different reactions, none of which she was all that pleased with.

Sirius looked furious. He obviously wasn't happy about what Lily had done to his best friend, and he was quite keen on showing it to her. His glare was menacing as ever, and her guilt only grew. Remus looked a bit irked, but more sympathetic than any of the rest of them. He was the most like Lily, and seemed to understand her dilemma. Peter didn't look all that happy, but she was fairly sure that was just because Sirius was glaring at her, so he decided to copy him. Potter… He looked a bit uncomfortable, at best. He looked embarrassed to have been caught, and just a bit on the sad side.

Merlin, what she wouldn't give to bury herself in a hole and just die.

Sirius was the first to speak. "Do you have something to say, or are you just going to stare at us stupidly?" he snapped, narrowing his eyes dangerously.

"Sirius…" Remus said quietly, shaking his head.

"I wanted to…Talk to James…" Lily said quietly, her eyes moving over to Potter, who looked just a bit surprised, likely because of how meek she sounded.

"Haven't you done enough damage?" Black asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I'll meet you guys back in the dorm…" James said slowly, his eyes trained on Lily. She, in turn, looked down at the ground as they both walked back into the classroom. James closed the door behind them, but not before he gave the other three Marauders a short glance. "I'm sorry about him," James said, taking a seat on top of one of the tables in the classroom.

"Sirius?" Lily asked, at which he nodded. "No…I deserved it."

Thankfully, he didn't counter that by saying that she didn't. She didn't need him to be nice to her right now, because she, once again, didn't deserve it.  
"What were you doing on the floor?" James asked her, raising his eyebrows just a bit.

"I was…Um…" she stuttered, looking down at her feet in embarrassment. Something wasn't clicking in her brain…She simply couldn't come up with a quick response to answer him with.

"Listening to us?" he asked suddenly, letting out a slow sigh.

"Well, I… Uhm… Maybe," she said finally, looking back up to him.

"How much did you hear?" he asked hesitantly, giving her an awkward glance.

"I…I don't really know. I mean, I was only listening for a few minutes," she told him, averting her gaze once more.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that… I'm sure I sounded like some desperate idiot, as you called me earlier today."

"No, no… I mean, I came here to apologize about that. I shouldn't have said those things. I didn't mean to be so rude," she told him. "And also…You were talking about changing for me," she said slowly, taking a deep breath. "It's really nice, and I'm honored that you would do that, but…I don't want to be the one at fault for changing James Potter into someone different. I don't normally care what other people think, but I just…I'd feel bad."

She was almost positive that he would say something along the lines of that has never stopped you before or you feel bad? Hah! No such response came. Instead, he said, "Well, I've made up my mind."

"So you won't change?" she asked quickly.

"You…You just forget about it, alright Lily?" he said, looking to her with a smile.

"Right…Okay," she agreed with a nod. "Well, I should probably be going. I just wanted to…Apologize, you know?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry too," he responded,

And that was that. She left the room and he left the room. They went their separate ways and the school year went on just as it had before. Of course, there was a considerable decrease in the amount of fights they had, and Lily was proud to say that it was partially due to her apologizing. It was just about as hard for her to admit she was wrong as it was for James, and so knowing that apologizing had actually helped made her feel better than ever. If only she knew what was in store for her in the coming year…


	12. Chapter 12

Pride is a tricky thing. There are certain people who don't know anything harder than admitting that they are wrong. Pride is the closest thing to them and they let it get the best of them at times. It's what gets them up every morning and gets them through the days. But pride can get sticky. People can call you stuck up and arrogant because of it. Pride has to be balanced, or else things simply go haywire.

Lily Evans was experiencing such a problem.

Six years had gone by at Hogwarts, and for the past three years, she had found herself a shadow named James Potter. A shadow whom she resented greatly. She called him names and insulted him and rejected every proposal he ever made. It wasn't until the summer before seventh year when she realized that she was just like him. They were both unbelievably stubborn and prideful, making judgments before they properly thought through things. And at that point, she found out what an awful person she had been.

That wasn't to say she was going to go back to school and beg for forgiveness, but she immediately told herself that she would at least be civil to him, starting from the first moment she saw him.

Let us set the scene: Lily has just said a heartwarming goodbye to her parents (her sister mysteriously couldn't make it) and she has just gone through to platform nine and three quarters. Who was the first person she saw? James of course. What she saw made the smile that came to her face immediately drop, though. He had his arm around the shoulders of a girl… A very attractive curly black haired girl who was thin and small and beautiful (at least from behind.) She was shaking hands with Sirius, and after only a moment she could hear the four marauders and her laughing quite loudly at something or other. Feeling her stomach drop, she quickly turned towards the train to find a seat, not daring to near them.

Lily repeated to herself over and over that she would forget what had happened and would still be as kind as she could to James, no matter what situation came her way. If he was being obnoxious and rude, she would politely ask him to stop—not yell. If he was nice, she would smile and act cordially towards him— _not_  yell. She was going to begin anew this year. These thoughts overtook her mind until she reached the Head compartment where she would meet her partner for the year.

What she didn't expect was for the same five people she had seen just minutes ago to come barreling through the door into a compartment certainly not meant for so many people. Slowly standing up, Lily gaped at them, her eyes moving from one to another.

A chorus of, "Hey Lily," and, "Evans, eh?" came to her, and she merely nodded a bit, forcing herself to smile at them. Just as she was about to ask which one of them had become Head Boy (though she wasn't sure she could handle any of them being such) James stepped forward, holding out his hand to her.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Evans," he said with a smile. "I'm your new Head Boy."

At this moment, she felt ten eyes staring expectantly at her, waiting for her reaction. Although she had never seen the black haired girl in her life, she was sure the rest of them were waiting for an outburst of curses and hexes. None came.

"That's nice to hear, Mr. Potter," she said simply, returning his smile with one of her own.

The only way to describe the looks on their faces would be to say that they were purely shocked.

James, on the other hand, looked quite pleased with her reaction, and followed by grabbing the girl's hand and pulling her next to him. "I'd like to introduce you to Beatrix," he said with a nod, glancing between the two of them. "Beatrix, this is Lily Evans," he continued.

"I've heard so much about you, Lily," she said kindly.

"Nice to meet you," Lily said in return, feeling her stomach churn uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, but if you'd excuse me…I have someone I have to meet before the meeting," she said quickly, nodding to them before she made a dash for the compartment door. As soon as she got out, she realized that she had no idea where she was going, but decided to just hurry down the hall until she found an empty compartment of a bathroom or something to hide in.

It was awful that James had to be nice, but it was even worse that this Beatrix girl was nicer. She had to go through the year knowing that James had finally given up on her the moment she realized that he wasn't so bad, and furthermore, he had gone off during the summer to find some nice girl who wouldn't yell at him or lose her temper. Sure, she was making plenty of assumptions, but she simply couldn't help it. Not only that, but he had told Beatrix about her! James was probably making fun of her with his friends and his new  _girl_ , laughing and wondering why he had ever liked her! But of course, this Beatrix girl was far too nice to laugh at her to her face. That's what they were probably doing now! Making fun of her in the Head compartment where she was supposed to be!

It made her sick.

And even worse: she had to hold a meeting with the new Head Boy in fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes flew by far too quickly, and before she knew it, she was trudging into the compartment she had been in a few too many times to receive assignments for the upcoming dinner. James was already there, to her dismay, and as she walked in he smiled at her jovially.

"I thought you weren't going to show," he joked.

Chuckling a bit to herself, Lily shook her head. "Nope. I'm here."

"Well, we're going to wait a couple more minutes. There are a few Prefects that haven't shown up," he informed her.

"Alright," she responded with a nod. "Where's Beatrix?" she asked suddenly, turning to look at him with her eyebrows raised in question.

"She's not a Prefect, Lily," James responded with a laugh. "I'm not sure it would be appropriate if she was here," he concluded, at which Lily merely nodded slightly.

"Oh…Right."

The meeting went well enough, and while James seemed to speak and instruct with flying colors, Lily felt just a bit more than awkward being there. Therefore, although it was uncharacteristic of her, she stayed silent through the majority of the meeting.

* * *

The next time Lily was confronted with Beatrix was when she found her in the Library the next afternoon. Her breath caught in her throat when she walked in to find Ms. Perfect sitting at a nearby table, a textbook set in front of her.

Hearing someone draw close, Beatrix looked up and immediately smiled when she saw Lily. "Lily!" she exclaimed, closing the book in front of her quickly. "It's so nice seeing you again! By the way, congratulations on getting Head Girl. I hear it's quite a bit deal here!"

"Thanks," Lily murmured, slowly walking over to the table.

"It'll be so much fun to work with James. I love him so much, I really do," Beatrix gushed, smiling kindly. "He's funny and smart and just…Amazing," she continued.

"Definitely…" Lily muttered to herself, looking down at the table with regret.

"Oh… You don't like him much, do you...I'm afraid I forgot."

"No, it's alright," Lily immediately said, looking up to meet eyes with Ms. Beatrix. "So, what's your story?" she asked politely, forcing herself to smile once more.

"Well, I usually go to Beauxbatons, but my parents work for the Ministry. I don't really know a ton about their jobs because apparently it's pretty top secret. Anyways, the Ministry stationed us in England in late June and we don't know how long I'm going to be here. But since I still need to finish my last year, I was invited to Hogwarts until we go back home."

"Beauxbatons? You don't sound French," Lily said slowly, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.

"I grew up in England until I was ten, so I learned French along the way. I'm afraid I have an awful accent," she told Lily with a laugh.

"Where are you staying?" Lily continued, finding no need to laugh.

"That's the greatest thing of all. James' family is letting us stay with them. His parents work for the Ministry as well and since they have such a huge house, they offered to let me stay there. Not to mention we have…Relations, you know?" she responded with a smile. "And I know that you don't like him much, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends, right?"

"Right…" Lily said slowly, feeling her stomach drop once more. She couldn't take it… "Look, I'm feeling pretty tired. We have to get up pretty early for classes again tomorrow. I'll talk to you in the morning, alright?"

"Oh, of course," Beatrix agreed. "G'night, Lily. Thanks for being so nice."

 _Great_ … Lily couldn't help but think.  _Now she thinks I'm nice. Just great_.

And with that, she left the Library, quite bookless.

* * *

School went by quite uncomfortably between James and Lily, especially with Head meetings and that small obstacle of living in the same dorms. She tried her best to ignore him as much as possible, especially when he was with his precious Beatrix. She was trying so desperately hard to dislike this girl, but she was just too nice. She couldn't find fault with her, and it was driving Lily absolutely crazy.

And apparently, James was noticing.

A few weeks into the term, James pulled Lily aside after one of the Prefect meetings, looking quite concerned. "Lily, are you alright?" he asked her slowly. "You've been acting quite odd since the year started. If there's anything you want to talk about, I'm always here."

Lily watched him carefully, trying her best to keep her composure. "I'm alright," she assured him, but stopped as soon as she said it. "Well… It's just a bit embarrassing," she admitted, averting her eyes.

"It doesn't matter. You can tell me if it will make things better," he continued, gently touching her shoulder.

"It's Beatrix," Lily spat out, biting down on her lip for a moment, trying to find a way to get this all out. It came all too easily. "I'm jealous. That's it! It's out! I'm jealous of you and Beatrix!" Lily exclaimed, looking back up at him, shocked that she could actually say this.

"Beatrix?" James asked slowly, looking quite confused.

"Yes! She loves you and you smile at her and touch her shoulders and put your arm around her and she hangs out with you and your friends and…" she began, but James attempted to interrupt her.

"Lily—…" he began, but she didn't stop.

"And she's so pretty and smart and nice. She has pretty nice eyes and she's small—why the hell do guys like short girls anyways?!"

"Well, I don't think—…" he attempted once more, but she still wasn't done.

"And I can't find anything wrong with her! And you're dating her and she's not me! And I want to be her! And she really likes you and so do…I…" And then she was done. That was it. It was all out, and James looked like he was about to burst with all he wanted to say.

"Lily, she's my cousin!" he exclaimed quickly, taking both of her shoulders in his hands to calm her. "Beatrix Potter! We're related! I love her, but…Certainly not like that! We're blood related and I… No. We're definitely not dating," he assured her, smiling warmly at her.

"Your…Cousin?" Lily repeated, feeling herself blush deeply.

"Yes. On my father's side. Didn't you know that? We look exactly alike, anyways. Her hair is just about as messy as mine are and I swear our eyes are exactly alike. People think we're brother and sister, honestly," he told her with a laugh.

In return, Lily laughed hesitantly, looking down at the ground for a moment with a deep breath. Finally, looking back up, she asked him the question that had been burning in her mind since they had gotten back to Hogwarts. "Do you still like me?" she asked him slowly, holding her breath.

"Do you really need to ask?" James questioned, looking almost amused that such a question had to be asked.

"Is that a yes?"

"It most certainly is."

They stood there in front of each other, both quite embarrassed with the situation, until they both burst out in laughter. Slowly putting his arm around Lily's shoulders, James led her out towards the hall.

"By the way, Lily…I like you just the height you are."

 


	13. Chapter 13

Whoever said that relationships were perfect? Whoever said that there were no slipups or mistakes or misunderstandings or faux pas? Half the fun of being with someone else was to share in their blunders, because it made them human. It brought them to the same level to relate on. It made people like Lily Evans and James Potter completely equal people.

Now, while Lily Evans had book smarts and could both tell you when the Crimean War was fought and how to create the perfect Polyjuice Potion, (hypothetically of course, for she had never tried such a thing) James had what one would call street smarts. He knew the right things to say at the right times to get what he wanted and he knew when to withhold information and when to lie and how to get out of detentions. Both had sailed through life, perfectly happy with their respective strengths. That is, until the two started dating in their final year at Hogwarts when Lily realized that she had been missing out on a whole world of talents, and it wasn't long before she was paying dearly for being behind.

It was a day like any other with drab, boring classes that were far too long for any student's liking. Lunch was mediocre and dinner came late, but what was one to do? On this most inauspicious of nights, Lily found herself up in the Gryffindor Common Room without a scrap of homework to do, having finished it earlier that day. In a bored fashion, she took out her wand, muttering a few words to herself before scribbling in the air in her usual cursive script.

_Where are you?_

It was a trick James had taught her a few weeks before to talk to each other without physically talking to each other. It was always helpful when he was off gallivanting somewhere and she was stuck without a thing to do.

In a few moments, a reply appeared, floating in the air just in front of her:  _Astronomy Tower. Damn homework._

She smiled to herself, choosing to ignore any odd glances she got from passing Gryffindors.  _I'd offer to join you, but I think I'd just distract you_ , she replied soon after the message had disappeared.

 _I'd love company_.

With that, she put her wand away and set off to the Astronomy Tower. It wasn't ten minutes before she found herself walking up behind James, read to scare him while he was lazily scribbling down constellations.

"The heels gave you away," he said, his back still turned to her just as she was about to surprise him with a small push.

"You're on top of things," Lily replied with a laugh, walking beside him to look out at the stars. "They're nice today," she commented.

James nodded, still writing on his parchment as he spoke. "Yeah, I came up here last night but it was overcast. I got an extension on the assignment, surprisingly."

"Buttering up your teachers, eh?" she joked, elbowing him in the side lightly.

"I like to call it innocent persuasion," he replied without missing a beat, turning to glance at her with a smirk on his face.

Lily stayed in the Tower for a little under an hour while James finished his work. She ended up sitting down against a wall, crossing her legs in front of her while she talked quietly with her boyfriend. Nothing exciting, but certainly more fun than sitting idly in the Common Room.

The next morning at breakfast, Lily found herself seated between Sirius and Dorcas, across from James and not too far from Remus, Peter, and Marlene. (James had encouraged Lily to bring her friends over to sit with his friends, and she had decided to try it out recently. It was a nice change, anyways.)

"What'd you do last night?" Sirius asked James casually as he poured himself a glass of orange juice.

"Astronomy. Remember, I told you I got that extension?" James replied without looking up from his breakfast.

"I didn't see you last night, Lily. Where'd you go?" Marlene asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Oh, I finished my homework early and went up to keep James company in the Astronomy Tower," she said with an innocent smile before taking a bite of her blueberry muffin.

Simultaneously, several things happened at once. Remus choked on his water, James looked up quickly and slowly shook his head, Sirius began laughing uproariously, Peter stared wide-eyed at her, Marlene covered her mouth (either in shock or to contain her laughter…Lily wasn't sure), and Dorcas bit down on her bottom lip in amusement.

Lily looked around, still holding her muffin in hand, confusion written on her face. "What?" she said slowly, frowning. "What's wrong with that?" she asked.

James stopped shaking his head and slowly rested his forehead against one hand, clearly quite embarrassed by this. This only confused Lily more.

"Am I not allowed to… What? Stop laughing!" she exclaimed, pushing Sirius in annoyance.

"I'm sorry, it's just…" Sirius began to talk, but found himself doubling over in laughter once again before he could continue. "Prongs, I just don't understand how you… I mean, it's Lily Evans! How in hell did you get her to…" And once again, he was off on a laughing tangent.

"Hey!" Lily exclaimed as she heard her name.

"Sirius, we didn't do anything," James muttered, looking up at his best friend with a glare.

"Oh, yeah, alright," Sirius said, unconvinced.

"I was doing Astronomy work!" James exclaimed indignantly, not once looking over at Lily as he argued.

"Yeah, alright. 'Astronomy.' Whatever you want to call it, mate."

"Sirius," Remus interrupted, sending another glare in his direction. "I don't think it's appropriate—…"

"Of course it's not appropriate! They were off shagging in the Astronomy Tower last night! How is  _that_  appropriate?"

"What?!" Lily exclaimed, her head whipping around to stare at Sirius in horror.

"My God, Sirius!" James exclaimed, finally glancing over at Lily, though only for a moment.

"We didn't—…"

"I didn't—…"  
"How could you even—…"

"That absolutely—…"

"AGH!"

Both Lily and James stood up from the table and marched off towards the Entrance Hall without another word. Both were positively seething as she stomped out of the Great Hall in anger and embarrassment.

"Have fun!" Sirius called out to them just before the doors slammed shut.

Lily grabbed James' arm, pulling him to a corner of the Entrance Hall, as to not get in anyone's way as the walked to breakfast. She was blushing deeply in embarrassment, and she could barely look at him as she spoke.

"What the hell was he talking about?" she asked him vehemently.

"Lily…" James began tentatively, but she interrupted him.

"Why would he say something like that? Did you tell him that we did something up there? Because we didn't! We talked! And you did homework!" she whispered violently, finally looking at him with a glare.

"I know that. But you see—…" he continued, but was cut off once more.

"It's insulting!"

"I know," James said again, putting his hands on her shoulders lightly to calm her down. "But you see… I was shaking my head at you because… Well, I didn't want you to say that you were up there with me, because I knew he'd say that."

"Excuse me?" Lily asked, narrowing her eyes angrily.

"It's not Sirius' fault, Lily. It's… It's precedent. It's what's been done in the past," he told her slowly, lowering his hands.

"What?" she asked, her anger dissolving into confusion once again.

"Well, you see… After school hours, the Astronomy Tower typically becomes…Well, people… People go up there to snog…And shag… And stuff," he told her, frowning. "And I knew if you said something, he'd take it in wrong way."

Lily was silent for several moments, contemplating what he said. Finally, she looked down as her face reddened once more. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I didn't mean to… I didn't know."

"I know you didn't, but it's alright. I suppose you know now. Won't make the same mistake twice," he commented with a hesitant laugh. "Don't worry, Lily. I'll set him straight, alright?" he said with a smile.

"Yeah…Thanks," she told him, nodding.

And that was the end of the conversation. Remus ended up approaching Lily and apologizing on Sirius' behalf, informing her that he felt bad but would never tell her himself. Dorcas and Marlene teased her incessantly for weeks, but they eventually forgot about it as well. Although they never spoke of it again, Lily certainly remembered it, for she was never one to enjoy being embarrassed. She worried for weeks that people were gossiping behind her back about the Astronomy Tower incident, but no one ever mentioned it to her. She eventually stopped worrying about it, knowing that she couldn't stop them from talking if they wanted to. Afterall, it may have been something that embarrassed her beyond all measure, but somehow, because she was with James, she knew everything would be alright.


	14. Chapter 14

She had been called judgmental and snotty, close-minded and stubborn. She was told she didn't like scalloped potatoes because she didn't have the courage to try them, that she didn't excel in Divination because she assumed it to be useless, and that she hated James Potter because she never gave him a chance. And so, the summer before her seventh year, Lily Evans made a pact with herself—to try something new every month. It didn't have to be monumental, but simply something to widen her horizons. Perhaps read a book she would never touch under normal circumstances, or wear her hair in a new way even if she thought it looked ridiculous. She tried to convince herself that it was for her own good, but she knew that in the back of her mind, she was really trying to prove them all wrong. She was standing up and saying, "Lily Evans is not the girl you thought she was!"

She had resolved that the first month of the year would be flying. She would get over her fear—not of heights, but of running into something—and try to fly again. She hadn't touched a broom since first year when she was required to try flying which hadn't worked out well, to say the least. But after many years of abstaining and reflecting, she was going to try one more time before putting her flying days to rest.

Lily planned it all out. She would wear slacks because flying in a skirt simply wouldn't do, and she would wear a scarf because the wind chill factor could be quite an issue. She would wear a pair of running shoes so that they wouldn't fall off in midair and she would put her hair up in a bun to keep it from blowing all over the place and getting knotted. A casual shirt would top off her flying attire. She would then march down to the field on the second Wednesday of September during her free period and get one of the school brooms to fly on—people always said they weren't all that extravagant and to her, that meant easier. She had checked to make sure no one else had the field booked and if someone else was at the field when she got there, she would move her entire outing to Friday morning. It was planned meticulously, and she refused to be caught off guard in any way, shape, or form.

When she got there, she found success, for no one was to be seen in the entire stadium. What luck! She felt her stomach knotting in fear, not yet over her young nightmares of running straight into trees or anything of the like. Of course, she could have gotten a certain someone to help her out in facing her fear, for her fellow Head Student was a master at Quidditch, but pride got the best of her. She told herself over and over that she really didn't need help and that she could do this by herself.

This mantra was forgotten when she got to the broom closet and found it adored with a large lock on it. Of course, how could she have forgotten? A second year was caught trying to steal a broom last year and they resolved to forever lock it. She could go back to her dorm and find that master key she was given at the beginning of the year, but by that time, she would only have thirty minutes,  _maybe_ , before her next class, and she needed at least ten minutes to prep herself for flight, so that simply wouldn't work.

Just as these thoughts raced through her mind, she heard a voice and approaching footsteps. "Lily?" It was a question of identity, and she closed her eyes tightly when she realized who it was. Even better. Now James was here to make fun of her. As he recognized her fully, she heard him break into a jog as he crossed the field. "What're you doing here?" he asked when he was no more than fifteen feet away.

Turning around sheepishly with an embarrassed look on her face, she let out a sigh. "I was going to try this whole flying thing," she said flatly.

"I thought you hated flying," he said simply, coming to a stop before her with a confused look crossing his face.

"I do. I'm trying this new thing…Nevermind. I just wanted to see if maybe I liked flying now that I've been away from it for a while, but the broom closet is locked, so I'm just going to forget about it and go back," she said quickly, only meeting his eyes for a few fleeting moments.

"No, don't do that!" he exclaimed, smiling suddenly. "You'll love it!"

"Well, that's nice, but I don't have a broom so unless I intend to grow a pair of wings in the next three minutes, I'm a bit stuck," she said as she began to pass him and walk towards the exit.

"You can use mine." It was then when she saw that he was holding his broom, and she grimaced. It was certainly not one of their school brooms. It was a broom specially made for a Quidditch player, not for a first year student, and therefore not one she should be using.

"I can't fly that. I'm fairly sure I'll fall off or something equally awful. Like break it," she offered with a shake of her head.

"Then you can ride with me."

"But I can't control it, I guarantee. I'll smash into one of the stands. Besides, I haven't even looked at a broom since I was eleven. I'm fairly sure I can't just pick up a—Cleansweep, is it?—and not expect to die," she objected as she turned her head sideways to read the name of the broomstick.

"Then how about this. I'll control it and you can sit in front of me—…"

"Absolutely not!"

"Alright, you can sit behind me then. I just figured you wouldn't want to hold onto me, but if you'd feel safer…" He was poking fun, but only slightly. She wasn't aggravated just yet.

There was silence for several moments as Lily contemplated her options. Finally, James spoke once more.

"If you don't make up your mind soon, it's going to be too late and classes are going to start." Another pause, and then a small laugh. "I'm not going to make fun of you or anything. C'mon."

And that was all it took. He let go of the Cleansweep and let it hover before them until he threw his leg over and motioned for her to sit behind him. "I'll be nice, don't worry," he told her with a smile. Somehow, she couldn't help but smile back as she took a seat behind him. "You can get a bit closer, Lily. I'm not going to bite or anything," he said lightly, and she reluctantly scooted a bit closer. Before she had a chance to respond, he was speaking again. "Hold on," he said and nearly immediately after, he took off. Her hands shot around his waist and she balled her hands in fists as a cry of shock emitted from her mouth. She rested her head on his back in an attempt to hide her surroundings from her, unable to quell her fear just yet.

Only a moment later, they came to a stop, though she kept her eyes squeezed shut tight. "Open your eyes," he said finally as he glanced back at her. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked up to see the Ground before her, and the Black Lake glistening in magnificence. She had only seen such a sight through the windows of the Gryffindor tower which was not nearly as majestic.

"Wow…" she said quietly, her voice nearly lost to the wind.

"I know. Tell me about it."

A moment passed between them before she felt a chill at her neck. Hadn't she come up with some plan to keep this from happening? Releasing one hand from around him gingerly, she brought her hand to her neck and felt bare skin. Turning her head, she saw it twisting around in the wind just below them and she frowned. Before she had time to register that the scarf had fallen off or alert James of it, though, he was off. With another shriek, she grabbed his waist as he swept through the air and with a deft movement, snatched the scarf from the air and handed it back to her. She surprised herself as her laugh echoed through the air, but she didn't stop herself.

Forty-five minutes of flying filled their time, and when he finally landed on the ground, Lily let out a sad huff.

"That was far too fun! If only we didn't have Charms…"

"I never thought I'd hear you say that," he said in amusement as their feet found the grass and they dismounted.

"I mean, granted, I wasn't actually doing anything up there. I was just sort of sitting there and enjoying myself, but still! To think I could have been flying since I was eleven and I was just too horrified after that class. Thank you so much, James!" she exclaimed, a wide grin adorning her face.

"I was happy to oblige." He paused as he glanced up at her hair; the bun was messy with small pieces of hair falling out all over the place. In fact, if she simply shook her head, he was sure it would fall out altogether. "Look at you! Thinking you're so suave with your hair messed up like you just got off a broomstick," he teased warmheartedly.

She looked down as her smile grew, bring her hand up to smooth out her hair without success. It was then when she realized that he hadn't made fun of her or teased her as she held onto him for dear life. He had retrieved her scarf and he hadn't been a prick by scaring her. In fact, he was a perfect gentleman. As the silence grew, she finally spoke up. "Why were you out here anyways?" she asked.

"I was going to get a bit of practice in, but this was a much better use of my time." Another pause as they both smiled sheepishly, neither knowing what to say. "We should probably get back—wouldn't want to miss Charms, eh?"

With a laugh, she led the way for them to walk back to the Castle. To say the least, their classmates were quite confused when the two of them came in windswept and chatting jovially. They took no notice, though, and Lily even had a hard time concentrating during class. She had, afterall, to plan her next new experience for October which, she thought, just might include him…


	15. Chapter 15

Dignity. It was the reason behind almost all of her decisions in life. It was her reason for studying, and her motivation, and her anti-drug. The idea of being embarrassed and gossiped about for looking stupid or committing some idiotic teenage gaffe prompted her to stay away from parties and not get pulled into childish stunts. Lily could confidently compare her life to the lives of her friends who were not as straight laced, though, and say that she was perfectly happy. She didn't feel like she was missing out on anything.

But somehow, she was inevitably dragged to a party here and there. A Quidditch after party perhaps, if it was a particularly monumental game, or a birthday celebration, or an end of the year party. There was always something that she gave into despite her resolutions. This time, it was different though. It was New Year's Eve, and she had never been at the school for the occasion. Her parents had convinced her to stay, just this year, for the experience. She suspected it had something to do with Petunia and her new beau, but she didn't ask and stayed happily at Hogwarts for the holidays.

It was nine o'clock at night on the 31st, and she sat in her dorm, cross-legged on her bed. She had no idea what other people did on New Year's. She only knew what she had always done with her family—watch some crazy movie and go up on the roof to count down the minutes and watch the fireworks. But here? Most of her friends were gone, leaving her rather alone for the occasion and utterly clueless as to how to spend her time.

Just as Lily was about to lay down on her bed to see if sleep overtook her, the door opened to reveal one of her only Gryffindor friends who had stayed over the break—Marlene. She poked her head in and as she realized that Lily was alone, she began to speak.

"We're having a New Year's party in the Common Room in a half hour," she said helpfully, strolling over to Lily's bed.

"Oh?" Lily asked simply, watching as the girl approached.

"Yeah. Not everyone in Gryffindor is here, obviously, but we thought it would be fun and it's kind of a tradition. You going to come?"

"I don't really do parties," Lily responded with a smile.

"C'mon, it'll be fun! It's not going to be crowded or stuffy. And you don't have anything else to do, I can tell that much. Besides, you never go to parties!"

"Exactly," was her quick response, a small laugh accompanying it.

"I promise it'll be fun." Unrelenting, as usual.

There was a pause as Lily contemplated her choices, until she finally decided that lying in bed until the New Year was not very celebratory. "Fine," she concluded, not moving from her bed.

"You're going to change, right?" Marlene asked with a raised eyebrow. She was wearing a pair of khaki slacks and a simple t-shirt. Apparently not party attire.

"Why? If there's not going to be many people there, then why does it matter?" Lily asked, standing up to evaluate her outfit.

"Don't you have a dress or something you can wear?"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

With a sigh of reluctance, Lily mentally sifted through her wardrobe until Marlene grew tired and let out a loud sigh. "Look, I have a navy colored dress that would look great against your pale skin. Want to borrow that?" she asked, raising her eyebrows in question.

"Fine," was her reluctant answer as they moved to retrieve the dress, doubt slowing seeping into her mind.

A few minutes after ten, Lily opened the door of her dorm, not quite believing what she was wearing. The deep blue dress came well above her knee, revealing long porcelain legs. She was quite sure that if she bent down she would be far from decent, but Marlene had simply insisted. The straps of the dress were tied behind her neck and the fabric scooped down nearly to the small of her back.

"I can't believe you made me wear this," Lily hissed as they walked down the stairs, a scowl masking her features.

"Now just be quiet. You look bloody gorgeous and it's not like you're twelve anymore. Besides, it's only us Gryffindors. Just trust me."

Lily's glare softened slightly as they walked down the stairs, trying with all her might to ignore the uncomfortable feeling bubbling up inside of her from wearing such a revealing dress. But as they reached the Common Room, her worries dissipated slightly. No one gaped at her in shock, no one whispered or laughed. In fact, she looked quite like every other girl and she loved it. In fact, she mused, she would have been embarrassed to have stuck out in her khaki pants. Turning, she gave a small smile to Marlene who looked back with a grin. The silent  _I told you so_  moment passed after a few seconds as they stepped into the moderate crowd of students.

"I had no idea this many people stayed over the break," she said, leaning over to Marlene. Her voice was raised slightly to be heard over the sound of the music and conversing students.

"Yeah. This is a little more than last year, even."

It was at that moment when Lily heard a gasp and an exclamation of surprise that made her heart drop.

"Evans?! Evans!"

Before she could find an escape, he was there. James Potter. Fantastic.

"Merlin, Evans! What are you wearing and why don't you wear it more often?" He had just squeezed his way through the crowd of people around him and was now standing right in front of her, surveying her.

Narrowing her eyes, Lily glanced over to Marlene only to find that she had disappeared when James had approached. With a huff of frustration, she looked back at James. "Potter, stop looking at me like I'm a cut of steak. For God's sake, I think you're nearly drooling."

Her bored voice didn't seem to faze him, though. "Sorry, you just look… Breathtaking." His eyes were still roaming up and down her body as if trying to take in exactly what he was seeing.

"Potter, my eyes are here," she said, bending down slightly to meet his eyes. She was met with a sheepish grin. "Excuse me, I'm…I'm going to go find Marlene," she said without a second thought and turned quickly to navigate away from him. She spotted a table at the far end of the Common Room inundated with cakes and other various treats, along with several bowls of punch, and made that her destination. She wasn't there for more than fifteen seconds, though, before she felt another presence beside her. Fully expecting to see the same scruffy haired teenager, she turned with a glare only to find Sirius beside her and Peter just beyond him.

"Hey Evans," he said with a nod as his eyes roamed over the chocolates. A short echo of his greeting came from Peter.

"Black," she acknowledged with a nod. "Are all four of you here?" she asked, glancing at him for just a moment.

"No, Remus is off with his family," he said simply, grabbing a cup and pouring himself some punch. Glancing over at her, he held it up to her. "Want some?" he asked. Some word of query came from Peter, but Sirius simply held up a hand to his friend and smiled to Lily.

Smiling slightly in return, she took it. "Yeah, thanks." Perhaps the spirit of the holidays was still present in Sirius, and had decided to be kind to her. She took that as her explanation and took a small sip of her punch, feeling her throat burn just slightly as it went down. She looked up at Sirius with a curious look, but that sincere smile remained painted on his face as she muttered a word of departure and went to find Marlene once again.

By quarter 'till midnight, Lily had been back to the punchbowl numerous times and for some reason she could not discern, Sirius had watched her every time she approached the table, seeming quite pleased with himself. Before long, Marlene began to see a difference in her friend's demeanor and pulled her into the hallway that led to the girl's dormitory.

"Lily, which punch bowl did you get your drinks from?" she asked once they had come to a stop just inside the hallway, the crowd still near enough to see but far enough away to be ignorant of their conversation.

"Far left," Lily said with wide eyes and a rather goofy grin.

Marlene brought a hand to her cheek, a look of concern coming to her face. "Uhm…Lily, I actually forgot to tell you something about this whole party thing… See, every year, one of the bowls of punch is sort of…Mixed with firewhiskey. Normally the one on the left…I can't believe I forgot to tell you," she said with a frown.

"That's impossible," countered Lily, shaking her head with a loud laugh. "That would be against the rules." Her words slurred together as she let out another giggle.

"Yeah… Uh…" Marlene struggled for her words for a moment before letting out a defeated sigh. "Look, go on back up to the dorm and I'll be back in a few minutes, alright?"

Lily nodded as her friend retreated back to the crowd. Just at that moment, Lily saw a familiar head pass the edge of the crowd. In excitement, she hissed out his name, beckoning him to come to her. "James!" When she didn't get a response, she tried once more with avail.

When James heard his name called out, he turned to identify the source. Upon seeing that it was Lily who saying his name—first name, at that—he glanced around for a moment, only to find that Sirius was giving him a thumbs up from across the room. In confusion, he stepped into the hallway, unnoticed, to meet the redhead.

"Were you talking to me?" he asked, furrowing his brow slightly.

"Yeah," she said in an exaggerated whisper, leaning forward as if to tell a secret. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about being so bitchy over there about the dress," she said, though he only caught about half of her slurred and distorted words. "I actually really like it, but since I never wear anything like it, I have to pretend I hate it," she told him with a matter-of-fact look on her face.

"Right…I like it too," he said hesitantly, eyeing her in bewilderment. "Is anything wrong?" he asked her slowly.

"No, I'm great! Marlene told me I drank out of the wrong punchbowl, but I think she was joking." Lily nodded eagerly as another laugh bubbled from her mouth.

A look of understanding came to James' face as he grabbed her arm, pulling her down the hallway towards her dorm. "Look, I can't actually get up the stairs to get you into your dorm, but you need to go to bed, alright?"

Before she could respond, though, she heard the crowd, now out of sight, begin to cheer.  _Ten! Nine! Eight!_  Stopping, she looked up at him with excitement. "You know what I've never done?"

"What's that?" he asked, looking down at her with a raised eyebrow.  _Five! Four!_

"Kissed someone on New Year's," she told him, the corners of her eyes crinkling in delight.  _Two! One!_ She reached up and grabbed his face with both hands, bringing him down to meet her in a kiss. She closed her eyes, and as the cheering erupted once again in the Common Room, she released him and took a small step back, looking quite delighted with herself.

As if on cue, Marlene found her way back through the hallway, spotting Lily standing there, giddy, and James in wide-eyed shock. Rushing up, she grabbed Lily's hand, looking at James in relief. "Oh, thanks for watching her. Sorry," she said quickly before turning to Lily and urging her to her dorm, leaving James standing in pure astonishment.

* * *

The next day, Lily awoke with a searing headache. The curtains of her four-poster bed had been shut, shrouding her in blissful darkness as she lay in a state of semi-conscious misery. When she finally pushed herself to grab hold of one of the curtains and pull it open, she was met with blinding light that only enhanced her headache, followed by the sympathetic expression of Marlene. She was sitting on the bed next to her reading a book of some sort, apparently waiting for her to wake up.

"And I quote, 'I promise it'll be fun,'" Lily said icily, narrowing her eyes.

"Technically, you told me you were having fun several times. You just…Weren't sober," she said sheepishly, placing the book next to her on the bed.

Lily didn't respond, but instead gave out a groan of dejection before lying back down on her bed, willing her headache to disappear.

An hour later, she got herself out of her bed and dressed, trekking down to the Common Room in an attempt to find some kind of food. On her way down to the Great Hall, she ran into that same someone she ran into the night before. The one person she really didn't want to see. They neared each other slowly, before coming to a stop when they were standing in front of each other at a conversational distance.

"You going to tease me now?" she asked dully and simply.

"No," was his equally unadorned reply.

"Going to brag to the school, then," she resolved, looking at him expectantly.

"Everyone is stupid when they're drunk." It wasn't accusing or joking—just a fact.

After a beat, she continued. "You know it was Sirius who fed me those drinks, right?" she asked.

"Yup. I already yelled at him for it."

"Did you really?" The response was laced with a hint of surprise.

"Yeah, really."

"So you're not going to tell anyone?"

"Nope."

"And neither are they?" She was referring to Sirius and Peter.

"They don't know about it."

A ghost of a smile came to Lily's face for just a moment. "Thanks, James."

"No problem."

"I still hate you."

"I know," he responded with a wide grin. "I wouldn't have any other way." And that was all that was needed before they went their separate ways for the day and tucked their secret kiss into the deep folds of their respective memories.


	16. Chapter 16

The holiday season has a unique feeling to it; things seem just a bit brighter, despite the overcast sky and shorter days. It's the ubiquitous smell of cranberries and pine and spiced apples. It's the faint sound of carols that can be heard anywhere if you just listen hard enough. It's the laughter that pervades the air as Christmas morning draws near. It's the ice skating and tree decorating and the endless rhubarb pies and the ever growing piles of presents. It's knowing that Spring is just around the corner.

Lily Evans was not immune to the joys of Christmas. She knew she could be a big black rain cloud at times, but during the holiday season, she couldn't keep the smile off her face or the sparkle out of her eyes. Few things could bring her down—not tests, not the cold, not essays, and not James Potter.

It started on a Saturday afternoon when she and a few friends had gone out ice skating. As they headed down to the lake, Lily realized that she had forgotten her scarf, and she urged her friends to go, telling them that she would meet them. She rushed back up to her dorm, wrapped her forgotten scarf around her neck a few times before all but running back with ice skates in hand. When she reached the lake, she found them with their skates already on, Marlene gliding elegantly across the ice while Dorcas tottered uncertainly, her hands out in an attempt to balance herself. With a smile, she called out a greeting, bending down to remove her shoes and put on her skates. She heard a thud as one of them fell on the ice and an eruption of laughter and she looked up suddenly only to find that they were laughing at her.

"What?" Lily asked in confusion, glancing between them.

"A-Above your head," Marlene stammered, unable to control her laughter.

Pausing, Lily touched the top of her head lightly and felt something brush across her fingers—something that was levitating above her head. She looked up sharply and saw a large sprig of mistletoe tied with festive red ribbon. She looked back down at her friends, a steely glare on her face.

"And you thought that you wouldn't get caught!" said Dorcas who was still sitting on the wet ice.

"You know your arse is going to be glacial, right?" Lily responded irately, but they just continued laughing.

* * *

Lily spent the rest of her Saturday and all of Sunday sitting in her dormroom, she trying to find out how to get rid of the foliage, her friends discussing who she should kiss amidst giggling attacks.

"Sirius Black, he'll love that! Every other girl has kissed him anyways," said Dorcas eagerly.

"Imagine what James would say. It'd be so hilarious!" Lily could feel Marlene's eyes on her as she tried to catch a reaction, but Lily gave none.

"No, no, Peter! He's so pimply."

"That's gross!" And another fit of laughter.

Lily glanced over at them, raising an eyebrow. "I don't think I've ever heard you two laugh so shrilly."

"It's just so amusing. We're simply reveling in your discomfort just like friends ought to do."

"How sweet of you," Lily said with a short laugh.

A round of chimes resounded through the room and Dorcas stood up. "Are we bringing you dinner again tonight?" she asked with a grin.

"That'd be lovely," she responded with a sugary sweet smile.

"I won't do this for much longer, so you better solve this dilemma soon," Marlene said dully and they trodded out of the room.

With a sigh, Lily reached up and touched the leafy sprig, sighing. She couldn't go home like this. More importantly, she couldn't go to classes like this. She would never hear the end of it!

After several minutes of silent thought, she stood up and headed for the door. Most everyone would be down at dinner, and she had to get out of her dorm. Being stuck there for a whole day had been torture! Her heels clicked as she walked down the stairs slowly, her hand resting loosely on the railing. Just as she reached the bottom of the stairs, she heard a slam and the sound of running—a boy hurrying out of his dorm room, she supposed. As long as she didn't attract attention to herself, he wouldn't notice and would run right past her.

What she hadn't factored into this plan was the subject—Mr. James Potter, late for dinner. His feet met the Common Room floor and he turned his head to look at Lily. He skidded to a stop, smiling at her.

"Evans," he exclaimed before his eyes moved up to the floating mistletoe above her. Realization came to James' head and his grin broadened as he imagined the possibilities. "Evans!" He laughed this time, stepping towards her as he pointed above his own head.

Horror seized Lily as she saw the same plant floating above his head. Who had she wronged? What made her deserve this? Lost for words, she simply stood there in shock, staring at him blankly.

"Look at this! How coincidental," he said jovially, stopping once he was just a few meters away from her. "You know, we could help each other out here. Kill two birds with one stone and all," he suggested with a wide grin.

"Oh, it has nothing to do with the fact that you like me?" she asked in a bored tone, narrowing her eyes.

"Absolutely not." A pause. "Well, maybe just a bit," he amended with a shrug.

"Potter, this is stupid. Just go to dinner," she said as she turned from him.

"C'mon, Lily! You don't want to go to classes tomorrow like that. Everyone will laugh at you! It'll be so embarrassing. A bit embarrassing for me, but mostly for you," he told her matter-of-factly.

She turned back, raising an eyebrow. "Marlene and Dorcas told me to kiss Sirius," she said triumphantly, matching his grin with one of her own.

"Now that's just cruel," he told her, his smile never fading.

"Their second prospect was Peter. That better?"

"Now  _that's_ cruel. He's so pimply," he told her with a shake of his head.

"You speak highly of your best friends, Potter," she said with disgust.

"It's all in good fun. Where's your Christmas spirit, anyway?"

"I have plenty of Christmas spirit, Potter. This is my favorite time of year." The words were icy, the glare had returned to her face promptly.

"You don't look it. You look like quite the Grinch, actually." He imitated her glare for a moment before his face broke into a familiar smirk of satisfaction.

"How sweet of you," she remarked, pressing her lips together primly.

"I thought so." His grin faded when she didn't respond. "Look, seriously. Do you honestly want that over your head next week or during break? I want to get rid of this just as much as you do; can't we help each other out?" When she moved to make a witty remark, he stopped her. "No, really. I won't tease you or make fun of you or tell everyone or anything."

"You just want to kiss me," she told him simply. It wasn't mean or accusatory; just a fact.

"Well, yes, of course." The smile that came to his face was one she hadn't seen often; it was a smile of sincerity and friendliness. It wasn't mocking or arrogant; just a fact.

She watched him without saying anything for several moments, reading his expression and trying to find the conceited smile that often lurked on his face.

"Fine," she said finally, watching him coolly. If he made a deal out of the occurrence, she would deny it. If he didn't…Well, it was her holiday present to him.

Hesitantly, she raised her chin to meet his lips and he bent down slowly. Their noses met and they both recoiled quickly, Lily looking down sheepishly.

"Maybe this isn't a good idea," she began to say, but was cut off as James slid an arm around her waist, pulling her gently towards him. He waited, looking at her, waiting for her to pull away or to object again. When she didn't, he leaned in once more and their lips met. Her eyes closed automatically and her hands drifted up to touch his face lightly. They lingered there, closer than they ever had been before. She heard the two clumps of mistletoe fall to the ground but she didn't pull away.

"Lily!" A shriek of pure shock invaded the room.

Lily tore away from James, turning her head to her friends in horror. They stood there, food in hand, not sure whether to run away or burst out in laughter again. Lily's eyes darted from them to James, unable to think properly. Bending down, she picked up the mistletoe on the ground and threw it angrily at him, the glare returning to her face.

"Prick!" she hissed, stomping back up to her dorm without another word.

After a pause, Marlene snorted with laughter and approached James. "When I told you Lily had that mistletoe over her head, I knew you'd try to make her kiss you…But I didn't think you'd succeed," she giggled. "Nicely done, mate!"

Winking in satisfaction, he resumed his path to the Great Hall. "I try."


	17. Chapter 17

Every person has at least one thing they would do if they had unlimited power—perhaps mountains of riches, perhaps the ability to end world hunger, or perhaps just a never-ending supply of pastries. Often times, it is something that is completely out of our grasp and is only a wild dream, and other times it is something that is completely plausible, something that is dancing just barely out of our reach. When James Potter received the power of Head Boy, he had one request that was simple enough; he wanted a Halloween Ball. He had begged for years, but it wasn't until he had the ability to influence the powers that be when his wish finally came true. He and Lily would plan the entire thing, start to finish—a test of their abilities to work together.

The first month of school had been rocky for them, but it wasn't because they were arguing. It was because they weren't arguing. They had no idea how to be civil around each other or how to have full conversations without once yelling. Yes, that first month was full of uncertainty as they both contemplated the idea of actually being able to be friends.

It was the ball—long hours of negotiating and planning and knowing that an argument could ruin the event— that solidified their could be friendship. And when they finally went to Dumbledore with the final details, they were truly proud of what they had come up with. It would be masked, and everyone would reveal their identities at midnight, as per the tradition of masked balls. It would be a formal event, with floor length gowns and men in suits. The Great Hall would be decorated and under floating jack-o-lanterns, the students of Hogwarts would dance the night away. Students were ecstatic, for there had never been a Halloween Ball during their time at Hogwarts. Girls bombarded the shops of Hogsmeade in search of the perfect dresses and masks and worried amongst themselves about who would ask them to the dance.

October 31st came, and as soon as lunch was over, Lily, James, and a group of Prefects took over the Great Hall and began decorating and preparing for the night of festivities. Lily and James sat charming pumpkins to float at various levels in the hall, some just out of hand's reach and some far above the students' heads. They sat in silence, every so often asking a quick question about whether someone had shown up to help out or whether a task had been taken care of. Finally, Lily brought up a new topic.

"Are you going with anyone?" she asked, not looking up from the pumpkin she was holding.

"Going where?" he asked absently as he pointed his wand at a pumpkin, letting it float out of reach.

"Tonight. To the ball," she said, glancing over at him as she did the same.

"Oh, no. I had enough to think about with the planning." He laughed and she chuckled in agreement. "You?"

"Nope. I suppose you and I'll be going stag then," she remarked.

A smile crossed his face and he nodded. "Good thing, because that means I can get a dance with you without some guy breathing down my neck," he joked with a nudge.

"Right. The guys that are beating down my door?" Lily shook her head with another laugh.

"C'mon, you must miss my badgering just a little bit," he teased, offering a sugary sweet smile.

"I'll admit that it's weird," she ceded with a shake of her head.

A pause before he spoke again. "I still like you, you know," he told her candidly, barely glimpsing at her.

Lily gulped and the ghost of a smile crossed her face. "I know." And then they fell back into a pleasant silence.

* * *

They worked up until an hour before the ball when Lily rushed up to her room to make herself presentable. She threw on a floor length navy blue dress and tried her best to put up her hair and put on makeup before she was rushing back down in time to meet James and announce the commencement of the ball. Halfway down to the Great Hall, she remembered her mask, sitting on her bed. With an exasperated sigh, she turned around and ran back up the stairs to retrieve it.

When she got there, it had already begun. She wasn't angry at James; in fact, she was glad he started it rather than making the entire student body wait for her. Fastening her mask—a sparkling white eye mask—she let out another sigh in attempt to catch her breath. Those stairs had taken a toll on her.

She surveyed the room around her. Every man was in black and the girls twirled around them, fabric of all colors billowing. It looked like a room of spinning women dancing with their shadows. A smile crossed her face as she saw the oddly colored hair across the room as people tried to disguise themselves. White, silver, orange, a few purples and blues. How festive; people were in the spirit of being someone they weren't.

With that thought, a white masked boy grabbed her around the waist and she was off in a waltz, laughing as she spun.

"Lily Evans, right?" he asked breathlessly. "It's the hair," he continued without waiting for an answer.

"Of course. And you are?" she asked, but he shook his head.

"I can't until midnight. You made up the rules afterall," he teased.

"Now that's not fair," she said jovially with another laugh.

Lily enjoyed this. He was a terribly good dancer and so relaxed; she couldn't keep the smile off her face even if she tried!

"Won't you just tell me your house?" she asked eagerly. "Or your year?" she suggested.

"That would ruin the fun," he told her with a grin as the song ended and he bowed to her. "I hope you'll save another dance for me later." When she nodded, he was off.

As the next song started up, she was swept up again, this time by a man with white hair and an intricately carved black mask.

"Lily Evans, am I right?" he asked with a smile.

"Yeah." She shook her head with a good natured grin. "I don't suppose you'll tell me who you are."

"Nope. 'gainst the rules."

"Since when are all the boys at this school so rule abiding?" she asked with sarcastic curiosity.

"We just like torturing you girls a bit," he told her jokingly.

"How kind of you all," she began, but at the last word, she let out a small exclamation as he stepped on her foot.

"Terribly sorry," he said, clearly embarrassed.

"Don't worry about it," Lily reassured him with a warm smile.

He twirled her around, taking steps just a bit too big for Lily so that she was lunging across the dancefloor with him. It was quite uncomfortable, really, especially when he tried to spin. It wasn't until he had stepped on her feet several more times before the music ended, much to her relief.

"Thanks for the dance." The words had barely left her mouth before she had hurried away, wincing at her injured toes. Lily took off her shoes as she limped over to a few of her friends where she resided for a bit while she recovered. Some time later, she spotted James entering the Great Hall and she hurried over to him.

"I can't believe I haven't seen you all night!" she said with a smile. She observed his maskless face and cocked her head. "Where's your mask?" she asked.

He hastily put his hands behind his back and said, "It was just starting to hurt a bit. Don't worry, I'll put it back on in a few minutes. It's not like I'm fooling anyone with this anyways," he laughed as he pointed to his messy hair.

"I know what you mean," Lily responded, pointing to her own hair. "How has the night been for you?"

"Great," he told her with a wide smile. "Danced with any dashing guys yet?" he asked, and although she knew he didn't really want to know, she told him anyways.

"Of course! I danced with one boy who was just…Amazing. He wouldn't tell me who he was though." He smiled at this before looking down at her feet.

"Why do you have your shoes off?" he asked as he saw the heels in her hand.

"It was awful! This guy started dancing with me and he kept stepping on my feet and taking strides that were far too long for me," she gushed. "I'll die if he asks me to dance again. Or at least my toes will."

"What'd he look like?" he asked with just the slightest hesitance in his voice.

"White hair, black mask. Fairly generic, so I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't know him."

"Well, I suppose—" he began before Sirius came up behind James and slapped him on the back, looking him over.

"What happened to the hair, mate?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "I liked it—it was  _suave_ , you know?" Here, he turned to Lily and waved, giving her an award winning smile before continuing. "And what about the mask? You didn't lose it somewhere, did you?" He looked behind James and saw it clasped in his hand. With a triumphant look on his face, he grabbed the mask and presented it proudly.

Lily looked down at the mask—engraved, black—and then back up to James. She could see that clumsy boy she had danced with now. She pictured the white hair, and suddenly, things fell into place and her stomach tightened in horror. James just stared back at her, looking more embarrassed than she had ever seen him. Finally, she broke their silence.

"I… We… Just danced, didn't we." He only nodded weakly. "Oh… Well, I mean, you weren't… It wasn't as if you were…" She stumbled over her words and blushed wildly, looking down at her bare feet for just a moment.

"Is he a really bad dancer or something?" Lily realized that Sirius was still standing there in between them with an expectant look on his face. Lily saw the glare James gave him, but Sirius stayed rooted where he was, awaiting her answer.

"I wouldn't say bad," she lied, trying to force a fake smile on her face.

"You're that bad?" Sirius demanded, whipping his head to look at James in amusement.

"I didn't say that!" Lily hurried, throwing up her hands in defense.

"Of course you didn't. It's what you meant," Sirius told her matter-of-factly, quite pleased with himself.

"That's not what I meant." The words were directed at James who couldn't find the courage to look at her.

"I think you two should try dancing again," Sirius continued with a knowing tone, pushing them both away from him. "Practice makes perfect!" he hollered as they stumbled away confusedly.

When they reached the dance floor, Lily put back on her shoes and James took her hand and waist with a look of nervousness on his face. "What do I need to do?" he asked.

She could tell how much effort it took him to ask, and she smiled encouragingly. "Well… Take smaller steps," she told him. "And try to mind your feet."

A new song began and they slowly began to twirl, James stumbling a few times. He was trying so hard… She could feel him letting her take control of the waltz and she shook her head. " _You_  lead  _me_ ," she told helpfully. He gulped and they picked up speed until they matched the couples around them. Lily found herself beaming as he looked up from his feet and met her eyes, confident as ever.

The song ended and not a second later, the white-masked boy she had danced with earlier approached her. He bowed to both of them and turned to Lily with a dashing grin.

"Might I cut in and get another dance?" he asked politely.

Lily looked at James whose eyes were darting between them. "I actually promised a few more dances to him," she told the mysterious boy. "Perhaps later." And with that, she turned back to James with sparkling eyes, taking his hand as the next song began.

"It's almost midnight, you know. Don't you want to know who that was?" he asked her with a raised eyebrow.

"No. I'm fine right here," Lily told him, calm and content as ever.


	18. Chapter 18

Some people will go to any lengths to get what they want. They will do irrational things and look at everything as a means to an end. They will gladly hurt themselves and hurt those around them if the end is justifiable and the reward great. They will go against what they know and what they feel if only to reach that final goal.

At this point, James was getting desperate. It had been two years since he first admitted his fondness of Lily, and now, at the beginning of Fifth Year, things were out of control. He saw her everywhere and could never stop thinking about her—she was in his dreams! He had tried everything he knew, from compliments and flattery to brute force and nothing had worked. He resolved to try to ask her politely, just once, to Hogsmeade. He practiced in front of Remus several times, barely able to control his laughter as he did so. Still, he was determined to make her see his adoration.

It was Saturday morning before the Hogsmeade visit, and James was just about to commandeer Lily's attention at breakfast when she all but flitted off with one of his favorite people—Severus Snape. With a glare, he got up from the table in the Great Hall and followed behind them with all the stealth he could muster. He was tip-toeing and hiding behind corners and flattening himself against walls, trying his best to go unnoticed by the pair.

They entered the Library casually and he followed quietly, narrowing his eyes as he saw Severus lead her gently to a table. He watched incredulously, struggling to remain unseen;  _he_  was touching Lily. With a shake of his head, James planted himself behind a bookshelf a few meters from them. They were talking about mundane things—homework, classes, teachers… A quiet sigh of relief came to him and he turned to leave, stopping abruptly when he heard Severus.

"I still have to pick up that book for Potions from Hogsmeade. Would you like to come with me?"

Terror seized him and he rushed out from behind the bookcase in a flurry. He had to put a stop to this before things got even more out of hand. He could wait no longer!

"Lily!" he called out far too loudly. "Fancy seeing you here!" He put on a winning smile as he presented himself to her, finding a blasé pose to impress her with.

She looked alarmed. "Since when do you hang about in the Library?" Lily asked suspiciously and Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Since always!" he exclaimed, sitting down at the table across from Lily. "So Hogsmeade is today," he said casually, leaning back in his chair with nonchalance.

"Indeed it is," Lily replied, crossing her arms as she gave him a steely glare.

"Going with anyone?" he asked with a wink. This whole politeness thing wasn't working out so well…

"I…" she began, but he continued.

"No? Fabulous. You'll go with me." He planted his chair on the ground, standing up abruptly.

"She's going with me," Severus said coldly, narrowing his eyes at James. James turned to look at him, seeming to have forgotten that he was even there.

"Is she?" James asked, keen upon any opportunity to torture his favorite Slytherin.

"Yes, in fact, she is." Severus darted his eyes over to Lily in some sort of question and after a hesitant moment, she nodded.

"Sorry, too late on the draw, Potter," Lily told him with a shrug.

"What's your name again?" James asked as he continued to glower at Snape, ignoring Lily's comment. "Wait… S… Snivel… Snivellus, right?" With that, he leaned over the table maliciously, staring Snape in the eye. "Back off."

Snape leaned forward so they were not two inches away from each other. "This is one fight you'll never win."

They didn't move for several seconds, staring each other down until James finally pushed himself from the table, turned, and stomped out.

* * *

Not long after James left, Severus and Lily found themselves at the Three Broomsticks, enjoying a conversation over Butterbeers. Despite the awkward conversation earlier, their Hogsmeade trip had been smashing, and she was quite enjoying herself. Of course, that could never last. It didn't take much time for Lily to spot a pair of eyes peeping into the window of the Three Broomsticks accompanied by a mop of black hair.

"He's staring at us," Lily said to Severus slowly, not daring to look back at the window or the eyes watching them intently.

"What?" he asked, about to turn around before Lily stopped him.

"He's trying not to be seen. He's at the window with just his eyes showing, trying to be some sort of spy." Severus snorted and Lily looked just a bit distressed. "I actually feel  _bad_  for him."

"Why should you feel bad? He just looks stupid," Severus said bemusedly, watching her carefully.

"Exactly. He looks so stupid and I feel bad for him. Can't I just tell him that we know he's there and he can stop trying to be stealthy? He looks like an idiot!"

"No, let him embarrass himself. About time he is the one people make fun of." The last part was under his breath, but Lily could still hear him.

"Oh, but I could just send him a signal or—" she tried one more time, but Severus shook his head as he interrupted her.

"No. Let it be."

"Right…"

Trouble by the name of James Potter finally came in. He entered casually with his hands clasped behind his back, acting as if he didn't see the two of them at a booth at the far end of the room. When he spotted them, though, he smiled disingenuously and sauntered over.

"It's as if he thinks we enjoy his company," Severus said dully.

"He'll hear you," Lily told him quietly, looking over at Severus with a frown.

"Since when do you care if he hears that you hate him? I think he already caught onto that one," he continued coldly, watching James callously as he neared.

"Fancy seeing you two here. What a coincidence that we're all here at the same time!" His words were jovial and surprised and when he didn't get an immediate response, he sat down next to Lily in the booth.

"Potter, what are you doing?" Lily asked him tiredly, a deep frown coming to her face.

"I just thought I'd come join two—well, one—of my favorite people. Sorry, Snivelly, you're not on the top of my list I'm afraid," James told him with mock remorse.

"How will I go on?" Severus responded with little enthusiasm, eyes narrowed. "Now if you'd kindly leave…"

Before the words could exit Severus' mouth, James had already raised up his hand to order a Butterbeer.

"Potter, really. This is ridiculous." James' Butterbeer was set on the table next to him and he chose to sip the drink sweetly rather than respond to Lily's quip.

"She asked you to leave," Severus growled at the boy across from him.

"I don't think so, actually. I think  _you_  asked for me to leave and I never listen to a word you say." He took another loud sip of his Butterbeer, smiling condescendingly at Severus as he set down his mug. "Besides, I'm quite content here."

Silence thickened the air and finally Lily said, "Excuse me. Ladies' room." She waited patiently for James to move and when he made no effort to let her out, she pushed him roughly until he stood up. She scooted past him and hurried away, unable to endure the conversation any longer.

As James sat back down at the booth, he looked at Severus with a grin. "Just you and me, Snivellus."

"Oh boy." A pause before he continued. "Look, can you just leave? Neither of us wants you here and you're just embarrassing yourself so if you could kindly go find another table…"

"Why would I do something like that when I can enjoy your lovely company?" James asked thoughtfully, his grin widening.

"Oh, let it go, you dolt. You hate me, I hate you. Why are you putting up these stupid pretenses? Lily isn't here, so there's no one to impress. Besides, she hates you anyways." Snape leaned back and crossed his arms with a sneer.

"You know I could just hex you, right? I'm good at that if you couldn't remember." James' grin had fallen and he leaned back as well, raising an eyebrow as if in some kind of challenge.

"Yeah, and you're also good at getting in loads of trouble for it and you wouldn't dare give up your Hogsmeade privileges because you think Lily will go with you one of these days. Fat chance, really." He was clearly pleased with himself, evident from the smirk that formed on his lips.

"Why did  _you_  bring her to Hogsmeade? Can Snivelly not travel on his own now?" James mocked, choosing to ignore the majority of Snape's comment.

"She was there. Why not? I know you're jealous, but just because she is disgusted by you…"

"You don't even like Muggleborns. You insult them behind her back."  
"She's different," Snape replied, his smirk now fading. Their words were becoming faster and faster, each reply becoming less thought out and calculated.

"What, do you have a little crush on Lily or something?" James mocked, laughing. When Severus hesitated, he stopped, an incredulous look coming to his face. "You like her?" he said slowly, disbelief invading his features.

"She's just one of the only people at this school who is sane, Potter. Don't read into it." Severus wouldn't meet his eyes, though, and suddenly James wasn't laughing anymore.

"You like Lily Evans…"

"At least she doesn't hate me!" he burst out, their eyes meeting again. "She  _hates_  you. She tells me every day how much she loathes you. At least she likes me—at least I'm her friend!"

"That's worse," James told him icily. "That's much worse because she will never see you as anything else." He looked somewhat surprised to even consider Severus as a potential threat. Afterall, Snape had never been a contender or rival, only someone to pick on and make fun of…

"I told you already," Severus replied, leaning back once again. "This is a fight you'll never win."

"You don't know what you're talking about," James began, but Severus laughed.

"You can hex me and mock me and embarrass me, but no amount of stupid popularity or dumb pranks will give you the upper hand. You've already lost! And I will never stop reveling in your desperation to win her over, because I do love to watch you fail."

"You two haven't killed each other yet?" At the sound of Lily's voice, Severus turned and smiled wryly at her, while James just continued to stare at Snape blankly.

"Are you deaf or something?" Severus asked, turning back to James when he didn't respond.

James opened his mouth, trying to form a somewhat coherent sentence, but stopped when he saw Lily scoot into the booth next to Severus. His eyes moved slowly between them—from Lily's mildly confused face to Severus' pleased smirk.

Lily looked between them, unsure. "What's going on?"

After a few seconds, James finally said, "Nothing," hurriedly. He stepped out from the booth and without looking at them said, "Have a…Nice…" Before he could find the final word he was looking for, he had left the table in embarrassment. He walked to the door of the Three Broomsticks and exited quickly before disappearing beyond the sight of the windows, not once looking back at the two of them.

"What was that about?" Lily turned to Severus, not sure whether to smile or be concerned or laugh.

"Don't worry about it. We just…Cleared some things up," Severus said, a small smile still residing on his face. She continued to watch him uncertainly, but he shrugged. "Let it be."

Lily turned to the door where James had exited and nodded slightly. "Right…"


	19. Chapter 19

It was a monumental event. James Potter was accompanying Lily Evans to the one and only Three Broomsticks. What was particularly momentous about this occasion? They were going on a date. Their first date. Yes, Lily had finally succumbed to the charms of James Potter and had said that long awaited word: yes.

He was ecstatic, of course, and on the morning of the date, he likely spent more time preparing than she did. He sat in front of a mirror for upwards of two hours trying to tame that rat's nest that sat upon his head. He tried on at least five outfits (and how much can five school uniforms differ?) and paraded in front of his friends, pleading in vain for them to tell him which looked best.

"You're being such a twat." Of course, Sirius' input never did help any.

"They all look the same," was Remus' sensible reply.

"The third one looks best, James. The pants really accentuate your legs!"

"Shut up, Wormtail. Don't encourage him," groaned Sirius as he lay sprawled on his bed, staring up at the canopy.

"And why aren't you getting ready for  _your_  date?" James snapped.

"Because I don't intend on keeping my clothes on for very long."

James turned to Sirius and narrowed his eyes, clearly not appreciative of his comment. "And who is it this time?"

"Ms. Clara Welby. I was going to bring her to the Shrieking Shack—"

"How romantic," James interjected.

"—shut up. And one thing will inevitably lead to another. Need I elaborate?" He paused, contemplating for a moment. "You're cool with that, right Remus?" he asked, glancing over at his friend momentarily.

"Yeah, whatever," Remus replied, unaffectedly flipping through the pages of a book.

James looked himself over one last time in the mirror, nodding to himself in approval. "Alright," he whispered. "Just a little date. With Lily. I've been on plenty before. But never with Lily. But it's just The Three Broomsticks. Cup of butterbeer, something to eat. A kiss goodbye. No! Don't get carried away! Keep it simple. Keep it simple."

"You tosser. Are you finished with your pep talk?" Sirius mocked as he propped himself up on his elbows to better view James' monologue.

"Sirius, this is serious." He paused and then pointed at Sirius, snapping, "And don't make a comment on that."

"It's Lily Evans and she hates you, mate." Sirius replied with a snarky grin.

"She said yes and that's all I need. She can't back out now."

"Yes she can. Have you ever heard of leaving someone at the altar? This could be similar."

"You're undoing all of my ego boosting!"

"Yeah, well someone has to." Sirius flopped back down on his bed with a yawn.

Ignoring this comment, James headed for the door.

"Where are you going, James? Can I come?" Peter asked worriedly.

The three looked at him with raised eyebrows. "I'm going on a date. Remember? The pants? My legs? Accentuated?"

"Right," Peter affirmed slowly.

"Aren't you a bit early, mate?" Remus asked without looking up.

"I'm getting there early. I don't want to miss her!"

"You're meeting in the Common Room, you wanker!" Sirius exclaimed, tossing a pillow at James head.

James ducked and glared at Sirius. "Hey, hey, the hair! I spent two hours on this!" Without another word, he dashed from the dormitory and found his way down the stairs.

Upon reaching the Common Room, James found a couch to sit on facing the Girls' Dormitory. He sat down, his hands in his lap, waiting. Upon further consideration, he crossed his legs and his arms. Again reconsidering, he put one arm casually over the back of the couch, leaning on the arm of the couch. Still not right… Quickly, he uncrossed his legs and rested his elbows on his knees, placing his chin carefully in his hands. To top of the picture, he let his casual smirk flicker over his face. He sat for another minute, and when he still did not like his position, he threw himself across the couch, the picture of a Greek god in his mind. Suave… Irresistible. When Emmeline Vance walked by and gave him an odd look, he quickly sat up, clearing his throat.

"It's complicated. You wouldn't understand. It's the pants…" With a slow nod, she continued on, trying to hide her laughter.

James shot up from the couch and rushed over to the Girls' Dormitory stairs. He didn't want to miss her… He heard footsteps…This was her! She was coming down the stairs!

"Lil-…" he began, but it wasn't her… With an awkward smile, he nodded with a salute. "As you were…" He turned around to watch the girl leave the Common Room, waving as she glanced back at him. It was at that moment when he was turned away, not attentive, when he felt a tap on his shoulder. With a jump and a shriek, he turned around and saw Lily standing there.

"Were you waiting long?" she asked with a small smile.

"Yes!" he exclaimed gallantly, figuring that his waiting was a sign of his devotion. When her smile faded slightly, he said in an equally gallant tone, "No! No waiting."

"Oh…Good," Lily said, suppressing a giggle. "Shall we go?" she asked after a moment.

"Yes!" His heroic tone had not left.

"Right… Nice hair, by the way," she told him as they began to walk out of the Common Room.

His hand met his hair and he grinned sheepishly. "Oh…Yes… What about my pants?" he asked eagerly.

"They're nice too…" she responded slowly. "But don't you wear them like that all the time?"

"Right…" he replied, clearing his throat.

* * *

The date was going splendidly. They had both had two butterbeers, and she had even touched his hand affectionately after a particularly good joke. He was beaming. She was laughing. It was all going so perfectly. Until Sirius came in.

James saw him out of the corner of his eye as he entered The Three Broomsticks, but he made no move to call out to him. He was busy. And Sirius should have been too, but he didn't dwell too long on this fact. He couldn't help but look over at Sirius, though, as he neared the table with every intention of sitting down. James' eyes widened in a sign of protest, but Sirius made no indication of stopping. He plopped himself down next to James with a large sigh.

"Can I help you?" James asked after a moment, glancing at Lily with an apologetic smile.

"She wouldn't shag me." His voice was dejected and muffled as he crossed his arms on the table, resting his head upon them.

James' eyes widened and darted quickly in Lily's direction. Meanwhile, she only watched Sirius in confusion, not seeming to be too shocked.

"Isn't this a conversation for another time, mate?" James asked, gaze shifting between both parties nervously.

"Why wouldn't she shag me? I don't get it! I'm attractive. Am I right?" He looked up at James and then over to Lily. "Am I right?! Yes. I am. But now, she had cold feet. Leaving me at the altar kind of thing. What the hell!"

"Done talking to yourself, Padfoot?" James asked through clenched teeth.

"And believe me, I'm good. I mean, I'm  _good_. I'm not talking mediocre shagging here. I'm talking about premium, top shelf shagging. This isn't ordinary stuff here! I mean, people  _talk_  about me. I'm a  _legend_. Okay, I may be exaggerating a little, but only a  _little_ , really! I will be legendary, don't you even worry." He sighed once more. "I just wish I could have some insight into the female species. I wish I could figure out why she said no…" Another pause before the epiphany. "Wait, Evans!" He shot up from his dejected state and looked at Lily with a grin. "You're a girl, right?"

"No, she's not!" James said quickly, desperately fearing what Sirius might ask her. When he received a cold stare from Lily, he clammed up and sunk back into his seat. "Not what I meant…"

"So, if you met someone who wanted to shag you and you got the chance, why would you say no? I mean,  _I_ would say yes." His words were rushed and his tone excited.

"Sirius, this is ridiculous! We're busy right now!"

"No you're not," Sirius said without looking over at his friend.

"But—"

"Shut up! I'm getting a first hand account here. You  _never_  reject precious information like this. Now scoot over." With that, he shoved James into the corner of the booth so that he sat eye to eye with Lily.

"Well, did you get to know her?" Lily asked simply, unfazed by James' desperate attempts to remove Sirius from the vicinity.

"I know her name…" Sirius offered, but Lily shook her head.

"Exactly, and that's all you need to know. Now you can leave." He attempted to push Sirius out of the booth, but he was dead weight.

"No, that's not what I meant. You need to learn about  _her_. " Lily sent a small glare James' way, before her attention was moved back to Sirius. "For instance, what's her favorite color?"

"I don't know…I need to know t hat?"

"Yes."

"Or what's her favorite animal!" James interjected.

Without looking this time, Lily put up her hand and shook her head. "Irrelevant. You're never going to buy her a parrot or a cheetah, but you  _may_  have to get her flowers. Hence her favorite color."

"Right…" James muttered.

"Why would I buy her things?" Sirius asked, staring at Lily in fascination.

"Because it's a nice gesture and it'll make her think you care."

"But what if I don't?" Sirius continued, suddenly looking very concerned.

"Also irrelevant," she responded matter-of-factly.

"Alright… So I've got to learn about her… Colors… And then flowers… Compliments?"  
"You've got it."

"Alright. I'm off." Sirius sprang up from the booth and began to leave before Lily stopped him.

"Wait! What're you going to say,  _exactly_?"

A pause. "Why won't you shag me? I'll get you flowers?"

"What did we learn?" Lily asked slowly with a raised eyebrow.

Sirius took a deep breath and began to count on his fingers methodically with some difficulty. "What's your favorite color… I like your shoes… Here are some daisies… Why won't you shag me?"

"Perfect," Lily replied with an approving grin.

"Excellent. I'll keep you updated," he told her with a quick nod. "Good luck with the rest of your date." And he was off.

They sat in silence a moment, neither looking at the other. Finally, James cleared his throat and scooted back to his original spot. Taking her hand in his, he finally looked at her with a charming smile. "So… What's  _your_  favorite color again?"


	20. Chapter 20

There are some things that should never be written down on paper. They are things that other people wouldn't understand. They are things that should be exclusively kept in your head, never to be shown to anyone. Things that would only cause confusion or anger or sadness. But somehow, comments and lists and insults and memories find their way from one's mind to one's hand and if you are especially unlucky or particularly careless, damage can only ensue.

It had taken until his seventh year for James to finally take Lily's advice. She had told him to move on and find another girl, and after so many years of trying, he finally gave up and conceded. He found another girl by the name of Maggie Hammond, a sixth year Ravenclaw, to focus his attentions on. She was a classic Ravenclaw—brilliantly booksmart, brunette, and beautiful. But there was one problem: she wasn't Lily Evans.

They found themselves at the Library, studying together at her request. It was their third date, if you could call it a date. They sat in utter silence, she with her Herbology book at hand, he with a Quidditch magazine nestled in the pages of a Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook. Classic. He tentatively brushed his fingertips against hers, and she looked up smiling.

"Please, James, that's really very distracting."

"Perhaps that's my ulterior motive," he told her with a debonair smile.

Maggie looked up from her textbook again, frowning. "Really, I'm trying to study." With that, James pulled his hand away, clearing his throat as he went back to his magazine. After a pause, he interjected again.

"You know, it was a joke. You could stand to loosen up a bit," he told her with a laugh, hoping to seem nonchalant.

"Well, I apologize if I want to do well on my next Herbology exam," she snapped, narrowing her eyes quickly.

"Even when Lily was studying, she still had time to yell at me," James countered.

"Lily again? You know you've mentioned her on every one of our dates." She didn't seem as angry any more—just a bit sad.

"I certainly have not!"

"Yes you have! You expressed discontent when I told you I didn't like Charms. You told me that you liked my hair better when I had dyed it red last year. You told me I would look cuter with freckles. You seemed thoroughly disappointed when I didn't come to your stupid Quidditch match!"

"Well…Lily  _does_  come to all of them…" he muttered, looking down at the table.

"I thought you had gotten over her!" She spoke in a harsh whisper so as not to disturb her fellow students. When he didn't respond for several moments, she stood up in a huff. "If you're having so much trouble deciding, why don't you make a pros and cons list or something." And with that, she stomped out, Herbology book in hand.

James thought for a moment, considering her words. Quickly, he grabbed a spare piece of parchment from his bag, grabbed his quill and labeled the page with one word: "Maggie." He drew a sloppy line down the middle and wrote in smaller lettering, "Pros" and "Cons" on either side of the line. He began with the positive.

_Smart._

But not as smart as Lily, he mused to himself. He paused, wracking his mind for some positive trait she possessed.

 _Pretty_.

He wrote it quickly, halfheartedly, not really sure if he believed himself. James Potter wouldn't date someone who wasn't at least mildly good looking, afterall. But she was boring. She looked like every other pretty girl he knew, with no unique qualities to call her own. When he was unable to come up with any other positive attributes, he sighed. He would come back to this side later.

He moved on to the "Cons" side of the table and without a moment's hesitation, he began writing.

_Boring._

_No sense of humor._

_Studies too much._

_Hates Quidditch._

_Not a Gryffindor._

_Likes Herbology._

_No freckles._

_Dated a Slytherin._

_Has an annoying voice._

_Is_ _ really _ _boring._

He paused for a moment.

_Is an awful kisser._

_Younger than me._

He stopped. If he let himself, he would go on forever.

With a deep breath, he turned the page. Very carefully, he wrote Lily's name at the top in his best cursive and slowly drew a line down the middle. In the same precise script, he wrote "Pros" and "Cons" and began with Pros.

_Beautiful._

_Genius._

_Talented._

_Caring._

_Funny._

_Likes Quidditch even though she says she doesn't sometimes._

_Wants to be an Auror._

_Lily Potter has a ring to it._

_Graceful._

_Looks fantastic in a pleated skirt._

_Is really cute when she's angry._

_Adorable freckles._

_Great tits._

_Has always hated Herbology._

_Has amazing handwriting._

_Deep down, she really likes all my friends._

_Even Sirius. Deep down._

He stopped. If he didn't, he would continue on forever. He knew that.

Grudgingly, he moved to "Cons." He was hesitant from the start, not sure if he was willing to put down on paper the things he didn't like about her. Nevertheless, he began despite his apprehension.

_Can be a little pushy._

_Hit me once._

He crossed it out.

_twice._

He crossed it out again.

_four times._

_Was friends with Snivellus for way too long._

_Never wears her hair down._

_Her hips are a little big._

_Can be a little snobby sometimes._

_Has an awful temper._

_May or may not hate me._

_Sirius says she's got a stick up her arse._

_Reads way too much._

_Suck up._

_Dad wouldn't approve._

_Thinks everyone likes school as much as she does._

_Cares way too much about rules._

_I'm in love with her._

"What're you doing, James?"

He nearly fell out of his seat in surprise when he heard the voice. When he saw Lily Evans sitting across from him, his stomach knotted and he moved to conceal the paper as quickly as he could. "Lily!" he exclaimed, surprised at how weak his voice sounded.

If she noticed, Lily made no comment. Instead, she eyed the back of the paper he was clutching, seeing Maggie's name scrawled at the top messily. "What's this?" she asked, laughing a bit. She grabbed it from his hands and he sheepishly, looked down at the table.

"It's nothing…" James muttered in a low voice.

"Is this a pros and cons list of Maggie? Oh, this is priceless," she said with another chuckle. She began to read and smirked when she read the positive side. "Wow, I see you really like your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend," he said quickly, but she wasn't listening.

"Let's see these cons." James watched Lily scan the page with her eyes, nodding at times and suppressing laughter at others. "I didn't know you liked freckles," she mused as she read.

"I don't," he said quickly, trying to snatch the paper from her.

She pulled it away from him, though, and looked at him doubtfully. "Then why did you put her lack of freckles as a con?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No reason. Now can I please have this back before she sees it?" he said quickly, a tone of urgency in his voice.

Lily put the paper on the table, face down her a hand covering it. "Is she in here or something? This certainly isn't something she should see." It was when James tried to slide it from underneath her hand when Lily looked down and saw her name written neatly across the top. "What's this?" she asked, looking over at James who now had a clenched fist covering his mouth.

A smile immediately came to her face as she began reading. "Lily Potter…" she whispered somewhat doubtfully, but the smile persisted. It was replaced quickly by a look of surprise as her eyes passed over the word "tits." As she finished, she cleared her throat, an amused expression still gracing her face. "Well, thanks I suppose."

"Yeah, no problem, can I have it back?" James said at breakneck speed, leaning across the table to snatch the paper.

She pulled it away again, though, and shook her head. "Nope. Now I need to know what you hate about me," she told him in a teasing voice.

James leaned back in his chair slowly, grimacing. "Of course…" His eyes were locked on hers as she read the paper, awaiting her reaction. She was nodding at first, appearing to concede to his statements. When her eyebrows furrowed slightly, he held his breath.

"My hips are too big?" she murmured without looking up.

"I was having such a hard time coming up with stuff. That stuff really isn't all that true, I just couldn't think of any flaws, so…" But she had already moved on.

"I have a stick up my arse?" she said just a bit too loudly, not noticing the students near them glancing over.

"No, Sirius thinks that," James assured, shaking his head. Lily looked up at him and the wounded expression in her eyes made his breath catch in his throat. This was not what he had intended…

"But you thought it was important enough to write down here."

"Lily, it's really just a bit of nonsense." The words spilled out of his mouth hastily, but she wasn't listening.

"I'm a suck up?!" she exclaimed in horror. "Just because I'm smart and teachers like me?" she demanded, anger flaring.

"You're right," he agreed, unsure how to fix the damage he had caused.

"You're damn right, I'm right!" With that, she looked back at the paper and her temper was immediately extinguished. "You're dad wouldn't approve?" Her voice was quieter now.  
"It's not that he wouldn't approve…" he began, but there was nothing he could say that would change what he had written.

"It says it right here. 'Dad wouldn't approve.' Why?" she asked, looking back up at him slowly.

"He's just very traditional, and—…"

"It's because I'm Muggleborn?" she asked, sounding quite defeated as she let out a slow sigh. Before he could respond, she had moved back to the list.

James watched in horror as she slowly moved between the last few cons, her eyes stopping and fixing on the last words at the bottom of the page. Closing his eyes, he clenched his jaw as she set the paper down on the table.

"That's what you really think of me, then?" she asked softly.

His eyes opened and met hers. "It's wasn't meant to be read."

"Then why did you write it down?"

"I told you, it was just a bit of nonsense!" He fumbled for words, forcing a halfhearted smile on his face.

Lily grabbed the paper, glaring down at it as she read. "Can be a little snobby sometimes?!" she cried out. "That's a bit of nonsense? Who the hell do you think you are?"

"You're right, Lily. I didn't lie," he said, louder this time, more confident in himself. "So when I said that I love you, I wasn't joking. And the thing is, I love you in spite of all of these other things. I love you despite what Sirius says. Despite the fact that my dad wouldn't approve, and despite the fact that you hit me and hated me for years and years."

There was silence between them for several moments. He was holding his breath again as he waited, hoping that Lily would understand. She stood up, pushing the paper back to his side of the table, a frown on her face.

"If you loved me, you wouldn't have had to make a pros and cons list in the first place." And with that, she walked out of the Library quite calmly, expressionless.

James let his head fall into his hands in defeat, before he snatched the paper from the table and crumpled it up. He threw it unenthusiastically into the trash can near the table. It didn't matter who saw it now; the person who he had to keep it away from saw it. No one else mattered.


	21. Chapter 21

It was the moment he had waited for since he had begun school so many years ago. It was the object of his hopes and dreams and meant, if things went as planned, the promise of a happy future. They were only four words, but in his mind, he had thought of a million different ways to say them. Will you marry me? There was the ring in the cake, or the classic dinner where he would sink to one knee and open that black velvet box, or there was the announcement at the Quidditch game idea (though he doubted he could drag her to one more of those), but they all paled to the splendor he dreamt of. This moment was too important for him to stick to typical proposals. And so, after seemingly endless brainstorming with his fellow Marauders, he finally came up with something that lived up to the reputation of a Marauder.

It would begin and such: he and Lily would be visiting Hogwarts to give Sixth and Seventh Years interested in Auror training an idea of how rigorous it was. They would get there early in the morning in order to visit some old professors, and over the course of the day, while James was away from Lily, students, who she would inevitably run in to, would give her little slips of paper adorned with letters that spelled out the words, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" She would accept (he hoped he wasn't counting too much on that… He resolved that he would not continue on to the last step if this part wasn't fulfilled) and then, that night when they had dinner in the Great Hall, she would be greeted with a beautifully decorated ceiling, streamers, and every other celebratory adornment he they could come up with. It would be perfect.

And so it began.

It was a surreal experience entering the castle. As soon as they walked in, hand in hand, the students milling around glanced over at them and nearly all of their faces lit up in excitement at the sight of their former Head Students. Lily and James received waves and exclamations, which left the First Years wandering about more confused than ever.

"Looks like we haven't been forgotten yet," James mused, shooting a crooked grin over to Lily.

"I don't think it would be possible to forget a Marauder in a few measly months," she laughed, shaking her head.

"I don't think they could forget such a beautiful Head Girl in a few measly months," he countered, squeezing her hand slightly.

This received a playful swat on the shoulder as Lily scoffed. "Or the most obnoxiously strict," she corrected, the corners of her eyes wrinkling in amusement.

"Never," James told her, kissing her playfully on the cheek.

"Flatterer," she accused teasingly before she heard a clock chiming ten o'clock. "Oh, I promised I would demonstrate some Charms at ten." She planted a quick kiss on his lips before she broke her hand away from his, already hurrying away from him. "See you tonight, James!"

James could only smile in return as he watched her rushing up the stairs. The next time he saw her, she would have all the pieces of paper and, if everything went perfectly, as they should, she would be running into his arms.

The key to this whole operation was the fact that they would be separated for the entire day. He had, of course, planned it as such, because it wouldn't do to have her coming back to him, asking why she had gotten "WILL YOU" from assorted students. And so, Lily would got demonstrate some Charms and visit a few professors and before they could meet again, they would go talk with students hoping to become Aurors. She would take Sixth Years and he would take Seventh Years and before they knew it, it would be dinner time and they would be meeting once again. Perfect.

Time went by quickly, and soon enough he was waiting in front of the Great Hall, anxiously awaiting her arrival. When he finally saw her walking towards him, his fingers tightened around the box in his hand as a wide smile came to his face. As she came nearer, though, his smile slowly began to fade. Was she frowning? Her eyebrows were furrowed in confusion, one hand clutching the little slips of paper gently. She wasn't running to him in excitement…She wasn't crying in delight… Had he done something wrong?

"How was your group of kids?" she asked, and he realized that he had been holding his breath.

"Oh, great…" he croaked out, his eyes glued on the papers. She noticed quickly and laughed a bit, holding up the pile.

"I got all these little pieces of paper from people and they said I'd understand what it was about later, but I still don't get it," she told him, shrugging a bit.

"Well… Did it spell out anything?" he asked hopefully, gulping nervously.

Lily glanced down at them, making a face. He stiffened suddenly as she continued. "I thought about that too, but it spells out 'oh my I rule warmly.' Does that mean anything to you?" she asked after a moment, looking up at him suddenly. Before he could respond, Lily glanced over and had noticed students entering the Great Hall. "Oh! It's open! I'm starving." With that, she tugged at his elbow and had he not been clutching at the ring box so rigidly, he probably would've dropped it.

"Lily—…" he tried, but she had already opened the door and stopped dead.

A giant banner was floating at the end of the Hall that read, "Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Potter!" and the room was filled with sparkling balloons, flying confetti, and streamers galore. And to top it off, the entire student body was standing before them, cheering, while the professors clapped amiably.

He felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him, and it certainly didn't help when he felt her hand drop from his elbow. If she would just say something, perhaps he could breathe again. It felt like a million years before Lily turned to look at him, her mouth hanging slightly agape. All the while, James had no idea what to do, not wanting to embarrass the both of them in front of the whole student body—their future colleagues.

Vaguely, he heard the clinking of metal against crystal and saw Professor Slughorn rise out of his seat from his peripheral vision. Horror flooded him, but he could not take his eyes off of Lily…He had to know what she was thinking.

This was not quite as easy when she turned to look at the professor, a rather blank look on her face. Uh oh…

"Ladies and gentlemen… Now, most of you are aware of the two students—oh, forgive me!—adults at the doors, but I must fill the youngest in. This is James Potter and next to him is the lovely Lily Evans." He chuckled to himself, shaking his head before continuing. "No, the future Lily Potter!" There was a new round of applause that drowned out James' desperate pleas. "They were Head students last year together and their story was quite infamous across Hogwarts. I believe every student had, at one point over their years here, witnessed one of their rows. Yes, James here was quite enamored with Lily, but she didn't quite see eye to eye with him there." A rumble of laughter passed across the hall and James looked back to Lily who still had that same, emotionless look on her face. "Miss Evans always had a few choice words for her fellow student, but this never deterred Mr. Potter. Interestingly enough, about six months ago, things changed. Some say that Lily gave in, some say that James changed his attitude, but either way, they fell in love. And here we are! I hope I haven't gotten the story wrong, but in any case, congratulations! Let's raise our glasses to the future Mr. and Mrs. Potter!" He raised his own glass and all the students followed his example.

"To the future Mr. and Mrs. Potter!" they all cheered.

"Oh my I rule warmly…" Lily finally murmured, her eyes glued on Professor Slughorn who was beaming at her.

"Will you marry me…" James said almost inaudibly, fighting against the nausea that was overwhelming his senses. Despite this, he slowly sunk to one knee, presenting the box that he had been clutching madly behind his back. Lily turned to him, looking down in awe as he opened it to reveal a beautifully elegant ring.

Muttering flooded the hall as the students looked on in confusion. James ignored this, though, and gulped nervously. "Lily Evans… I love you more than anything in this world…And despite the fact that this whole plan didn't work out so well…" He gained a bit of confidence when she saw a ghost of a smile flitter across her face. "I hope that you don't hate me for it… And I would be unspeakably honored if you would marry me."

There was silence as the students watched expectantly, ignoring their puzzlement, and James held his breath as he stared into her eyes with hope.

Only a few seconds passed, though, before Lily held out her hand tenderly to James. Horror passed across his face as he took it and stood up sheepishly, the box still held up between them.

"James…" she began, her eyes twinkling with mirth. "You are such a twit." With that, she closed the distance between them and let brought her lips to his for several moments as the student body broke out in another round of applause. Finally, Lily brought her lips to his ear and whispered, "Yes."

James let out a breath as he felt himself grin widely. He had completely forgotten about the sea of students before him, some of which were watching, others already eating. All he saw was Lily, and before long, he grabbed the ring, dropping the box in his pocket and taking her hand as he gently slipped the ring onto her finger. He looked up at her, catching a glimpse of the tears glistening in her eyes as she looked down at the ring.

"I love you, Lily Evans."

She looked back up at him, unable to keep the smile off of her face. "I love you too, James."

He was tempted to think of the event as an utter disaster, but he couldn't bring himself to suppose such a thing. It was perfect, in every way, shape, and form. Perfect.

 


End file.
